I just changed the toilet roll.In fact, I always change the toilet roll.
I sometimes think I am the only person who changes the toilet roll in this household.
Judging by the number of times I'm faced with both cardboard tubes and half-used rolls piled up on the side of the bath, I'm probably the only person who changes the toilet roll on the entire planet.
And this, dear reader, is why humanity is doomed. If we, as a species, can't even get our shit together to change the toilet roll, who's going to get off their backsides to save the planet when a giant asteroid comes hurtling towards us? Apart from Bruce Willis, that is.
To this end, I've got a plan. I shall start my own business to go into homes and offices, change their toilet rolls and charge them for the privelege. I will also develop a large rocket ship armed with nuclear weapons just in case the giant asteroid menace rears its ugly head.
I know what you're thinking, and the answer is this: The space ship will have some sort of bottom-wiping mechanism, because I can't be in two places at once.
This time next year, Rodders, we'll be millionaires - IF THE WORLD DOES NOT END.
15 comments:
First!
Real men don't change toilet rolls.
100% FACT!!!
But whose job will it be to book the man to come and change the toilet roll?
Don't ever loose sight of the fact that there is still useful life left for bottom wiping duties in the cardboard tube too - don't be hasty in removing empty cardboard tubes from the toilet roll holder, it just means that no-one in the house has been that desperate enough to use it yet.
I use my empty roll tubes as starters for parsnips.
Judging by the number of posts concerning fecal matter here, you probably poo the most in your family, and that's why it seems you're the only one changing the rolls.
I feel your pain, this seems to be a chore forced upon me in my house as well. If only it was a job worthy of payment.
Bruce Willis' next film involves changing a bomb laden empty toilet roll with a deactivated one, saving humanity AND providing bottom wiping capability.
I believe Captain Kirk has a worse problem because of the number of Klingons he has to deal with.
HEY!
I am ALSO the one who ALWAYS HAVE TO change the toilet rolls.
I like your business ID. I can setup a website for free.
I hope you hang the paper the correct way, with the leading edge away from the wall. Any other way of hanging it is depraved & filthy!
FlyingPenguin: I concur. Any other way is BLASPHEMY
Finally, something we agree on.
Anyone who places their bogroll with the leading edge nearest the wall should be made to wipe their tender bits with IZAL bog paper.
I didn't know parsnips ate toilet rolls.
There's an iPhone app for that you know. No really, there is.
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