Tuesday, January 03, 2012

North Korea Watch: The war against the Pyongyang United car coat has begun

Poor, dead Kim Jong-il. Hardly cold in the ground, and his feckless son Kim Jong-un is already unraveling his legacy.

As dedicated DPRK-watchers will already know, the Dear Leader spent the final months of his life promoting the use of the Pyongyang United car coat - light, convenient outer wear that looks good, but can be worn in the car without unsightly rumpling and discomfort.

That well-practiced catalogue pose, in that superb coat and those oh-so-comfortable stay-pressed trousers that you can only get from advertisements in the back of the Radio Times. All gone, in the blink of an eye as "The Birdy Song" plays to mourners at his funeral service.

But what's this we see? A man who shops at the Pyongyang Branch of High and Mighty. Cuts his own hair. The sartorial elegance of the deceased Dear Leader has been replaced by someone who salutes like he's watched far too many bad Hollywood war movies.

In fact, the backlash against the Pyongyang United car coat has been so great in the younger Kim's early public appearances, that the new Leader - a confirmed fan of United's local rivals Pyongyang City - has banned them altogether, on pain of ACTUAL death.

But why the big shoplifter coat? Is it - as analysts speculate - because it has voluminous inner pockets, just handy in case he happens to pass a buffet?

Don't let him near the buffet! DON'T LET HIM NEAR THE BUFFET!

Yes. That'll be it, then.

We shall, of course, be keeping you up-to-date with the adventures of the Supreme Leader, right up until firey nuclear apocalypse engulfs the Korean Peninsula, when it won't be funny any more.

Genuine North Korea Watch blog HERE. It's very good, if you're into that sort of thing.

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