Monday, May 13, 2013

In praise of Crimer Show

In the entire history of the internet, there has never been anything quite as ridiculous, mystifying and downright hilarious as Crimer Show.

For those of you that don't have the Twitters, Crimer Show is a blow-by-badly-spelled-blow account of a TV cop prgramme, in which exactly one criminal (the eponymous Crimer) pits his wits against exactly one detective (The forever on the edge of a nervous breakdown Detetcive).

In his own words: "Im do crimes . Crimeing. Detetcive cant stopme."

Crimer is coole, has an endless supply of sunglasies, is pubil enemy numper 1, and has a habit of talking directly to camera

 Detetcive, on the other hand, faints at the drop of a hat, has terbil draems, and is addicted to melk, which comes out of cows. He is not coole and say "CrimERRRR!" a lot

Chief says "Heckit!" a lot.

Pupey says "Wuf"

VOISEOVER: This is true.

You're right. Crimer Show makes no sense at all out of context, but put it all together it makes perfect sense. It is every TV cop show and police action movie you've ever seen, written by somebody with only the merest graps of the English language. All it's missing is Detetcive's ageing partner just one week away from retiring and that would be a complete set of cliches.

The work of Irish comic writer @AstonishingSod, Crimer started as a show-within-a-show for his already cult FrientsShow feed. The difference between the two being that you need some knowledge of Friends for it to make sense. Everybody, on the other hand, knows where Crimer is coming from and understands Detetcive's slide into insanity. Read this stuff long enough and you'd probably join him.

Mr A Sod has now gone out and expanded the franchise. Fans of angsty west cost comedy can now follow @FrasserShow wit the Frasser, Kniles, Mortoin, Dampy, Razz an Edy

Crimer Show certainly needs to be celebrated. While Jane won't let us have a Crimer-themed wedding later this year, I am already pressing the local authorities to change the name of the venue for us. What was once Heckfield WILL become Heckit-field by the end of the year, even if we have to (puts on sunglasses) DO CRIMES

VOISEOVER: This is true.

If you don't have the Twitters, every Eppasod is available on the Crimer Show website

Alternatively, just type the words "I don't get it" in the comments and agree to be mocked.


Caroline Coxon said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Alistair Coleman said...

Wow, thanks!

Daddy Love said...

Crimer Show rocks. I chanced upon it and now hang on every badly-formed word! Love how he ap[proriated David Caruso's sunglasies stunt!

And today--I'm dying...

CRIMER: Oinioins or No oinioins .... (puts on sunglasses) Theses pepl am a bunsh of Stupeds

Antikraodshower said...

Antik: (uzes mobyl on raod)wil it com owt in paprebak or kdnel
raodpolise: (puts on rayda)ceep in lain riduws spede n pulovr

Luvchylder said...

Antik: (looks cooly right) wat nonsence offiser. cant you see im in the midel ov a busnes deel wiv my ajent. im antik andi got a sho on tv wich iz moor than yu.
raodpolise: Ho ho who. waa i wa ons the tv lass yer wiv crimerwathc ukip so i ons in ooniform as wel an go a foto in diln two pruv it.

Fayker said...

Antik: i dont get it.
raodpolise: we want a fayk copey of tanguy and we dont meen that canarder film.
ajent: (on speeker) he means pear tanguy by van goff.
luvcash: (ajnet switched to converrans cawl) we got fayker in lucsemberg for tacs reesons heel do it for uros.
Antik: get factualer to give us the helly from cowst

Acownter said...

Acownter: (puts on deeler eyeshade vizer) were maycin a new seerys of cowst so yule have to uz the cinester-hand drive white merc from lord rushan emmygrays *the posers*
Antik: do i have to tork like veece an smel of wodker

Fayker said...

Puppy: wuf!