Thursday, January 10, 2013

On a little something that somewhat spoiled my Christmas break

Dear the Government

I know you don't give two shits - and neither has any government in the last four decades - but I've just had the misfortune of driving down the A303 past Stonehenge again.

Look, I know you've done studies, pretended to throw money at it, and then done nothing, but there's no denying it's the worst length of road in the entire country, if not the world. THE WHOLE BLOODY WORLD.

That may strike you as hyperbole, but having sat in hour-long traffic jams in either direction, it's clear to even the most parsimonious bean-counter in Whitehall that the road is just a mess.

It's not that dual carriageways go into single lanes for no reason. It's not roundabouts stopping traffic. It's not a sudden 30mph limit through a village. And it's not a dangerous turn at the bottom of a hill that causes jams. Oh on, it is none of these.

What holds people up for hours on end is this: Perfectly normal people driving along, saying "Ooh, it's Stonehenge!" and driving past at 10 mph. TO A MAN.

Every time: "Ooh! It's Stonehenge!" and traffic jams five miles in either direction.

Dig a hole and bury the road in a tunnel.

Build a bypass.

Put up a fucking big fence.

Just do something, you muppets.

Your pal,

Albert O'Balsam


Anonymous said...

You might want to re-address that to the "Wiltshire NIMBY Twat Association".

Sewmouse said...

I know I got here late, but I was busy gawping at Stonehenge.