It was an August Saturday, the sun already belting down, that we packed the trailer with the camping gear, hooked it up to the back of the car and headed off for a two week holiday under canvas. As usual, the old man had kept our destination a closely-guarded secret, except for the fact that to make up for the previous year's disappointing wash-out Somerset's rain-soaked Mendip Hills, we were going 'overseas'.
Crikey.
We headed south through Berkshire and Hampshire, and before long we were queuing for the ferry. The Isle of Wight ferry. Oh, ha bloody ha.
Making the most of the short crossing, I wondered round the deck and took in the views of the Solent and the looming bulk of the island as we steamed toward our destination. Standing just to my right was a vaguely familiar figure doing exactly the same.
Well screw me sideways with a scaffolding pole, if it wasn't former Beatle Paul McCartney, getting away from it all for a couple of weeks in a motor home on the Isle of Wight with poor, dead Linda, who at that time was neither poor nor dead.
He seemed quite open about the whole adventure, and said it was a relief to be able to get out and do things on his own without record company gophers doing everything up to and including wiping his bottom for him.
"Look," he said, producing a scrap of paper out of his pocket, "I even paid my own way – with me own MONEY!"
And so he had.
In his hand he held his most prized possession at that moment, a symbol of his independence from the mad, mad world of mega-stardom: A ticket for the ferry crossing to the Isle of Wight.
His Ticket to Ryde.
And that, my friends, is how you do a pun.
41 comments:
*groan*
Punishment. Nothing more, nothing less, Scary.
But ... the car ferry doesnt go to Ryde, it goes to Fishbourne. You have to get the passenger ferry or the catamaran or the hovercraft to Ryde. Epic fail.
She's bloody ryde, you know.
Perhaps if you change it to meeting him outside the fun fair while you were waiting to go to the ferry terminal?
Debster: Shurrup. Spoil a perfectly good gag, why don't you?
Also: I cannot see my own (or any other blogspot blog) from work today. Makes a change - last week it was Twitter.
Far be it from me to bicker but that is not how I do a pun.
I think I'm gonna be sick
I think inahedge, yeah.
Akay, if it's time for jokes...
What do you call a dog with wings?
Linda McCartney.
The old ones aren't necessarily the best.
Oh, and BTW, if anyone's interested I'm conducting a little psychological experimenty thingy over at mine, and I'm in need of brainz...
Scary, get your arse over there now, akay? ;o)
And seeing as these horrible blogger comments won't directly link to another blog, the addy is http://misty69stuff.blogspot.com/
On a thankfully brief trip to the Isle of Wight, my better half was all excited about getting the bus back to Ryde. "I'm going to ask for a ticket to Ryde!" She said, in a rather hysterical manner.
The time comes. We get on the bus. The anticipation is palpable.
"Single to Ryde please"
Swiftly followed by
"Oh BOLLOCKS!"
Silly moo.
Typical. It's brown, it steams, and it comes out of Cowes.
That is the other ferry that goes from Southampton and is run by a different line.
And SD - I STILL cannot leave a comment from my phone. You should call the new hotness Blogger comments the feeble cannot be used except with an actual computer comments.
I've been away for two weeks and Misty's attempts to lure people over to "hers" are still just as lame as SD's jokes.
To be said like the crowd member in the Father Ted episode "Chirpy Burpy Cheap Sheep":
...."Fuckin' hell"
As far as puns go, it's actually pretty good. Keeping in mind the quality of puns in general, that is.
Now I have that song in my head. Happy now??
Anon: I thank you.
I'm pretty sure Misty won't
Scary: I knew that arse would make that comment as soon as I posted another wind up!
I've been wanting to leave a comment like that for ages, just to see if they would take the bait and sure enough...
Methinks someone ought to get a life.
Misty: Another wind up? Get a life? It's not me who has been "waiting for ages" for you to post another pittiful attempt to steal some traffic. I'm surprised you didn't follow up with a "if anyone's interested, there's a first going at mine", as if it's some kind of valuable collectable that comes round only once every millenia.
Think it's pretty clear who ought to get a life.
Screw getting a life. Let's have an argument!
He used to walk past my office in SJW on a regular basis. The sight forever deprived me of the ability to pun. That is a verb, right?
Oh and Misty, you can log directly to your own blog by html or by signing in anonymously? Or have they mysteriously disallowed that?
I only come here for the arguments.
Tzonar
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
I turned up at the gates after school but she must have chickened out.
Get a life - Screw! Feck!
Fight! Fight!
Also. Worst. Pun. Ever.
Also. Thank you for not posting a more current photo os Sir Beatlejuice. Because BLEUGH! and *shudder*
The pretty ones never age well.
Which means I'll be dead hot when I'm 64. You may not need me, baby, but yer gonna want me!
Wotcha darlings,
Sorry I'm very late, but I was out and about doing things in the three dimensional world.
Also, I left school years ago...
And just as I thought, same as
last tine - no follow up comment...
*sigh*
I do have to ask though; are there any of Scary's readers who also read my blog on a daily basis out there that honestly believe that I am desperatley trying to get more site hits and/or comments by leaving my little 'Scary Taunts' here?
Honestley, Scary & I know that the majority of our readers read both our blogs every day, even if they don't comment on both our blogs.
I love winding Scary up, and he recipricates admirably should (and when)the need occours, but if there are new readers around that don't understand the old 'In Jokes', please let me know instead of leaving derogatory comments that obviously mean that the reader has totally misinterperated the point, akay?
Serioulsly, 'Anon' - I've been taking the piss out of Scaryduck (and Vice Versa) for many years now, and if he objected to anything I've ever written on his comments he would have told me.
I'm sorry you didn't get the 'In Jokes', but I do understand that you are new to this whole Blogosphere.
Lighten up and have a trawl through the archives before you try to upset people in future, alright?
All best,
Misty
Maybe they can leave a comment on my Flickr page then?
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Thank you for the wonderful effort
إني تذكـرت والذكرى مؤرقـة * مجـداً تلـيدا بأيـدينا أضعـناه
أنَّى اتجهتَ للإسـلام في بـلـدٍ * تجْده كالطيرِ مقصـوصًا جناحـاه
كـم صرفتنا يـدٌ كنـا نـصرفها * وبات يـملكنا شعب مـلكناه
بالله سل خلف بحر الروم عن عرب * بالأمس كانوا هنا واليوم قد تاهوا
وانزل دمشق وسائل صخر مسجدها * عمن بناه لعل الـصخر ينعـاه
هذى معـالم خرس كـل واحـدة * منهن قامت خطيبـا فاغرا فـاه
الله يعلم ما قلبت سـيرتهم يومـا * وأخطـأ دمـع الـعين
مـجراه
يا من يرى عمـراتكسوه بردته *
الزيت أدمٌ لـه والكـوخ مـأواه
يهتز كسـرى على كرسيه فرقـا * من خوفه ،
وملوك الروم تخشـاه
يا رب فابعث لنا من مثلهم نفـرا * يشـيدون لـنا مـجدا أضعنـاه
Thank you for the wonderful effort
إني تذكـرت والذكرى مؤرقـة * مجـداً تلـيدا بأيـدينا أضعـناه
أنَّى اتجهتَ للإسـلام في بـلـدٍ * تجْده كالطيرِ مقصـوصًا جناحـاه
كـم صرفتنا يـدٌ كنـا نـصرفها * وبات يـملكنا شعب مـلكناه
بالله سل خلف بحر الروم عن عرب * بالأمس كانوا هنا واليوم قد تاهوا
وانزل دمشق وسائل صخر مسجدها * عمن بناه لعل الـصخر ينعـاه
هذى معـالم خرس كـل واحـدة * منهن قامت خطيبـا فاغرا فـاه
الله يعلم ما قلبت سـيرتهم يومـا * وأخطـأ دمـع الـعين
مـجراه
يا من يرى عمـراتكسوه بردته *
الزيت أدمٌ لـه والكـوخ مـأواه
يهتز كسـرى على كرسيه فرقـا * من خوفه ،
وملوك الروم تخشـاه
يا رب فابعث لنا من مثلهم نفـرا * يشـيدون لـنا مـجدا أضعنـاه
Thank you for the wonderful effort
إني تذكـرت والذكرى مؤرقـة * مجـداً تلـيدا بأيـدينا أضعـناه
أنَّى اتجهتَ للإسـلام في بـلـدٍ * تجْده كالطيرِ مقصـوصًا جناحـاه
كـم صرفتنا يـدٌ كنـا نـصرفها * وبات يـملكنا شعب مـلكناه
بالله سل خلف بحر الروم عن عرب *
بالأمس كانوا هنا واليوم قد تاهوا
وانزل دمشق وسائل صخر مسجدها * عمن بناه لعل الـصخر ينعـاه
هذى معـالم خرس كـل واحـدة * منهن قامت خطيبـا فاغرا فـاه
الله يعلم ما قلبت سـيرتهم يومـا * وأخطـأ دمـع الـعين مـجراه
يا من يرى عمـراتكسوه بردته * الزيت أدمٌ لـه والكـوخ مـأواه
يهتز كسـرى على كرسيه فرقـا * من خوفه ، وملوك الروم تخشـاه
يا رب فابعث لنا من مثلهم نفـرا * يشـيدون لـنا مـجدا أضعنـاه
Thank you for the wonderful effort
إني تذكـرت
والذكرى مؤرقـة
مجـداً تلـيدا
بأيـدينا أضعـناه
أنَّى اتجهتَ للإسـلام في بـلـدٍ * تجْده كالطيرِ مقصـوصًا جناحـاه
كـم صرفتنا يـدٌ كنـا نـصرفها * وبات يـملكنا شعب مـلكناه
بالله سل خلف بحر الروم عن عرب * بالأمس كانوا هنا واليوم قد تاهوا
وانزل دمشق وسائل صخر مسجدها * عمن بناه لعل الـصخر ينعـاه
هذى معـالم خرس كـل واحـدة * منهن قامت خطيبـا فاغرا فـاه
الله يعلم ما قلبت سـيرتهم يومـا * وأخطـأ دمـع الـعين مـجراه
يا من يرى عمـراتكسوه بردته * الزيت أدمٌ لـه والكـوخ مـأواه
يهتز كسـرى على كرسيه فرقـا * من خوفه ، وملوك الروم تخشـاه
يا رب فابعث لنا من مثلهم نفـرا * يشـيدون لـنا مـجدا أضعنـاه
Thank you for the wonderful effort
إني تذكـرت والذكرى مؤرقـة * مجـداً تلـيدا بأيـدينا أضعـناه
أنَّى اتجهتَ للإسـلام في بـلـدٍ * تجْده كالطيرِ مقصـوصًا جناحـاه
كـم صرفتنا يـدٌ كنـا نـصرفها * وبات يـملكنا شعب مـلكناه
بالله سل خلف بحر الروم عن عرب * بالأمس كانوا هنا واليوم قد تاهوا
وانزل دمشق وسائل صخر مسجدها * عمن بناه لعل الـصخر ينعـاه
هذى معـالم خرس كـل واحـدة * منهن قامت خطيبـا فاغرا فـاه
الله يعلم ما قلبت سـيرتهم يومـا * وأخطـأ دمـع الـعين مـجراه
يا من يرى عمـراتكسوه بردته * الزيت أدمٌ لـه والكـوخ مـأواه
يهتز كسـرى على كرسيه فرقـا * من خوفه ، وملوك الروم تخشـاه
يا رب فابعث لنا من مثلهم نفـرا * يشـيدون لـنا مـجدا أضعنـاه
huh.. good style ))
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補正下着
Thank you for this article, really useful material.
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