On hot nuns
"Nobody's ever faithful these days" a good friend of mine said recently, noting the lack of morals in society.
Hardly being one to talk, I agreed, before noting that the rot has come down from the very top of our value system:
"When I went on holiday to Spain," I said, "We visited a nunnery, and we were shocked – SHOCKED - to discover that it was FULL of brides of Christ."
"To the brim. Piles of 'em. Stacked to the very rafters with brides of Christ singing selections from The Sound of Music."
"Bloody Hell's teeth."
"That's what I said," I said, "You can't all be brides of Christ. That's what I told 'em. You can't ALL be brides of Christ, goin' round singing selections from The Sound of Music after telling us that anything other than monogamy is a mortal sin. You brazen hussies."
"It's a disgrace. No wonder He only ever wore a bed sheet. Didn't have time for clothes, what with all the nuns demanding... you know... wifely attention."
"I said that to the Mother Superior an' all, lounging aroun' in her peek-a-boo wimple. An' then they laid into me. The lot of 'em."
"Well, I warned you."
"Yeah, I know you told me all nuns are fully ninja-trained."
"But you didn't listen, you dreadful blasphemer."
"No. No I didn't. Still got a bit of a limp."
"But hot nuns, eh?"
"Yeah... hot nuns."