Monday, March 30, 2009

On Cookery Week

On Cookery Week

After a period of introspection over the truck full of FAIL that was my inability to walk away with a Bloggie Award, in which I have hardly kicked the dog at all, I have come to the conclusion that the reason for my defeat at the hands of a popular food blog is that this site is not a popular food blog.

Not any more it isn't.

With my Gordon Ramsay swearing, Jamie Oliver comedy speech defect and the chiselled good looks of Anthony Worrall-Thompson, I feel I have finally found my calling.

I hereby rename these pages:

Scarychef: Not Scary. Not E.Coli.

And for my first recipe of the week, that perennial favourite of top class chefs everywhere:

Cheese on Toast

Ingredients: Breads, Cheeses

Method: Toast the breads.

Add the cheeses.

Grill until it has the consistency and appearance of napalm.

Warning: Under no circumstances should you use tomatoes, pepper, Worcester Sauce or any other condiment, for this is entering Welsh Rarebit territory and verging on poncery.

In fact, any cheese more expensive than Tesco Value Cheddar (featuring milk fats from at least one named ungulate) may be deemed BLASPHEMY.


Then eat the reconstituted cheeses at the bottom of the grill pan.

Leave the washing up for somebody else.

The sommelier recommends: Four pack of Fosters, room temperature

More kitchen fun tomorrow.

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