I done a letter to BBC London's Danny Baker on the subject of adding lyrics to popular TV themes:
Ahoy hoy Dan!
A propos of your long-running thread on People Who Add Words To Popular TV Themes, I feel it is my duty to inform you that I have been walking around these last twenty-two years with the lyrics to Hawaii 5-0 bouncing around my head.
I will be the first to admit that I did not write these lyrics. They were passed down to me by a colleague at the Ministry of Cow Counting as we passed time at junior civil service desks before he became a familiar face on television news and I a familiar face to the local bookies.
The result of a bizarre phone-in from Familiar-face-on-TV-news's days on student radio in the US, there were once a whole two verses to the Hawaii 5-0 tune, the second sadly lost to the mists of time and a failing memory.
Lost second verse aside, not to mention the mouthful that is the penultimate line, I'm sure you will consider this The Best Thing Ever in the long and respected history of adding lyrics to popular TV themes, especially when sung in a high-pitched nasal twang as The Good Lord intended:
The Theme Tune to Hawaii 5-0 by Familiar Face on TV News
Dum-diddy-dum-diddy dum-dum-de-DUMJust sing along twice through and I guarantee nobody will notice the difference.
In Hawaii there is lots of crime
And Steve McGarrett gets 'em every time
Steve, Jim, Danno and the boys in the lab
Makes sure anyone who commits crime in Hawaii is nabbed
I am not mad.
Albert O'Balsam, Weymouth