- Cheese on Toast
- Tomato ketchup sandwiches
- Egg and Chips
- Tea, NATO standard
- Peanut Chunky Kitkats
- Ear wax
- Set meal for two, Ming Wah restaurant, Weymouth
Sports of the Gods (Official list)
- Swingball
- Synchro swimming
- Penguin pile-up
- Pirate-themed crazy golf
- Sending a classical hero on a near-impossible life-or-death quest for some elusive treasure, battling mythic beasts, slaying stop-motion skeletons and rescuing semi-naked yet chaste maidens. Then killing him to death in a bizarre spacehopper accident, for the LULz
- Pro-Celebrity Nail-Gun
Naturally, if you disagree with ANY aspect of these lists, you are a BLASPHEMER and will be dealt with accordingly.
Cruel and Unusual Punishments for BLASPHEMERS, lollygaggers and scullions of the Gods (Official list)
- Fired out of a circus cannon up Jimmy Carr's arse
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