I've been in far too many meetings recently. I could have sworn that this really happened:"And here," said the salesman, his suit glowing under the glare of the flourescant strip lighting, "You'll see the final design for your new corporate website.
"We've taken on top webpage design specialists who are experts on how users read websites and the way their eyes move around the screen from asset to asset.
"They have," he said, an air of smugness on his voice, the project sign-off only minutes away, "They have worked long and hard working out what kind of content stimulates users and engages them for the most satisfying user experience.
"In short, they know exactly what your users want to see on your website."
"Wait..." said the boss, struggling for words as the new webpage is projected ten feet high on the wall of the conference room, "Wait..."
It fell to the finance director to articulate what we were all trying to say: "That's just a picture of a pair of lady's bosoms, isn't it?"
"Yes. Yes it is. Click on either to enter."
"DEAL."
15 comments:
Thus leaving the users feeling a right tit.
That's sexist. Who do I complain to?
What a brilliant idea, SD.
What's the website address? (I could do with practising my breast stroke).
Zed: Click on the right one to complain
"I wish to complain. Your web site is bust."
I can only see one tit and that one looks cold as it has gone blue.
That would make me feel a bit of a boob.
Debster - better than a bearded tit. In theory.
How about a Great Tit?
How about two?
Made me titter.
You're gonig to milk this for all it's worth, aren't you?
As once stated on I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue:
Tits like coconuts, but sparrows prefer worms.
here I am once again, weaving my lair's web to wrap you all in. You may think I am dead, but ha! then there I fooled ya!
Not twas not me but my evil twin Rosemarie.
the funeral was of course, grand, it was all in the plan. them both lying side by side, looking too cool.
And me Mathilda the Medium hovers high above on her persian rug, dangling his over million $ life Insurance.
Ah but he, awesomely decked out in purple and peacock green ruffled shirt, slightly opened to display a hunkish man of almost thirty.
I still feel so dirty dirty dirty. Oh it's a wicked world of which we weave and spiders webs and of the web designs that we had it so bad and yet declined to tell him while he was still quite young and still alive.
And of course it these danged out slower-than-slow computers would only run more apace with us the much more indecent rat race. (sorry rats!)
But then we would risk only by demand.
And demand studios did so decline. I am now on to bigger and better things!
The Heath Ledger biography. I am byoed up by prspects and dreams I always see. The fame, the glory of the story and the fall of it all.
Drunked stupored nights, flights of delights and sugared coated cherries envelope me admist swirls of baby blue and lavender woods cotton candy.
I am carried away by my sirens song!
Out but woe is upon us, for alas on the morrow, is the crucifaication in this dinky stinky nation of when I must go back to other-worldly duties.
A spiers web is never done until it is miost enough for the dawns dew to sparkle it up!
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