FACT: Crisps are an important part of your diet, and comprise at least seven of your five a day.
FACT: Modern culture started to collapse the day Golden Wonder stopped making Ringos.
A decision not taken lightly, production was halted after a successful legal challenge by fourth-best Beatle Ringo Starr, demanding a 1p payment for every tasty potato-based snack bearing his name.
Ironically, the Egg Marketing Board dodged a similar bullet by changing the name of the yellow bit inside their product to "yolk" after a writ from Yoko Ono in the early 1970s, while the makers of "Lennonade" craftily switched the double-n to a letter 'm'.
Paul McCartney and Man United footballer Wayne Rooney are said to be perfectly happy with Macca-Roons, as long as they stick to the veggie recipe.
I am not mad.