Sahara asked me - after I mentioned the conversion rate of the metric shitload to the Imperial Shedload - about units of measure. So, for those of you still working things out on the old money, always happy to oblige:One metric shitload = 2.71 Imperial Shedloads
1 Imperial Shedload = 0.03 Fucktonnes
1 Fucktonne = 1.02 Fucktons = 23.567 Metric spunkbubbles
2 Bloody great handfuls = 3 Metric jubblies
3 Metric jubblies = 1 good old fashioned slap round the face = 0.47 Had it up to heres = 0.02 Motorboats
6 inches = 1 standard handjob = 0.5 Milibands
2 standard handjobs = 1 "Last night I dreamed I was skiing" = 0.5 Metric Liars
12 pints British ale = 56.8 litres of French piss = 1 vomir dans une haie = 0.93 Imperial Sick inna Hedge = 0.69 US Chunders
Do let me know if I've missed anything.
18 comments:
How many Camerons in a Merkle?
2nd. And totally loving today's blog for sone reason...
Scary, this makes you acer than a flying ace dressed as the ace of clubs at a Motörhead concert playing nothing but The Ace Of Spades.
Yes. That's quite ace. But what's that in metric?
1 ace = 7.528 metric Jolly Good Fellows, what what.
Also, 2 smoked kippers for breakfast = 1 ace with a passing resemblance to Chris Barrie in a wig.
What I don't understand about the metric system is why they chose such awkward conversion rates. And why take just 39.3700787% of a perfectly good inch for a centimeter?
1 imperial sick-inna-hedge = 69 Grand Muffs.
4 imperial AT-ATs = 9 rebel snow speeders.
What's a gnat's cock?
You could also try:
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/08/24/vulture_central_standards/page3.html
And
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/10/28/additional_reg_standards/
I shaved armpit = 478.3 french poodles
I always thought 1 2"by4" = 1 hand job.
No wonder it went wonky and collapsed.
Debster - what would you get for a shaved monkey?
1 Imperial Yaaaaaarchhh = 13.684 Metric Hic.
Debster - that's a lot of poodles.
Donna -
one shaved monkey = 2 Persian cats
The US went off the "Chunder" system some yarbbles ago. We now recognize only the Porcelainprayer index.
Erin, I'll take two Persian cats over a shaved monkey any day.
1 Fatima Whitbread - 4 unshaved armpits.
1 pair English socks and sandals = 2.4 hairy German legs.
Firkin is the Imperial unit of Excess. It comes in multiples of two as in "two firkin heavy" or "two firkin difficult".
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