No.1: When you go to the toilet and find the previous user's I-don't-want-to-catch-a-hideous-disease toilet paper still spread over the seat.Look, we've had hovercraft for well over half a century now – why can't SCIENCE come up with some sort of arrangement where you can "sit" on a cushion of air a couple of centimetres about the seat?
I'm certain James Dyson and his cyclone technology wallahs are all over this most urgent of technological developments, my own experiments being marred with the unfortunate re-insertion of ...err... waste matter that will be dealt with by the courts any day now.
They never have that problem on the Starship Enterprise. Scotty just beams it into the heart of a black hole, or something, and everybody's happy. Star Trek Tech has a habit of becoming real centuries before its time, so GET TO WORK, BOFFINS.
The next person to suggest "Do it standing up, like the French" will be burned as a BLASPHEMER.
8 comments:
Floaty first!
If it's yellow, let it mellow.
Pissant second.
Third for general cleanliness.
The Japanese have toilets that download MP3s matching certain physical characteristics of your technical output. No really.
But this ain't rocket science. Go ask a nurse in a hospital. They've had this equipment for decades. That's right; you can go to the loo LYING DOWN. How's that for cushion?
Personally I think men should pee sitting down. I know they can.
And surely the monkey butler would wipe your bum and flush the paper for you?
If men pee sitting down we just manage to spray it up under the rim. That's why they sell Toilet Duck.
GT
I went to the loo in Hamleys yesterday and deliberately made a paper nest and left it there. Mind you, it was disgusting.
ha ha! Toilet duck!!
Only now do I realise why Scary is so scatalogically fixated!
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