On the great cake riots of 2010
"Welcome to this Ministry of Cow Counting information briefing on efficient methods of counting cows in the twenty-first century.
"Due to a recent Freedom of Information request from a member of the public, we have been forced to disclose how much this organisation spends on cake.
"As a result of this, we are unable to provide you with neither cake nor biscuits for the duration of this course.
"We are thankful, however, for the 10 kilo tin of instant coffee donation from the local Scouts."
This is the stuff of popular revolt. Nations have fallen for less.
"What about jaffa cakes? They're neither cake nor biscuit."