I've made a fantastic new discovery, and being the patriot that I am, it is my duty to offer it to new Defence Secretary Liam Fox.A letter, then:
I am not mad.
Dear Dr Fox
Congratulations on your new job at the MoD. It's not often a DJ makes the cross-over to high government office, so: RESPECT, dude.
This letter is to inform you of an incredible discovery I have made that will swing the Afghan conflict our way, and save - in these days of austerity - the Treasury £££s!!!
After a careless accident involving a cheese toasted sandwich (I believe you posh types call them 'Welsh Rarebit') and a microwave oven, you may be delighted to hear that I have invented a new way to mass-produce napalm.
All you need is your boffins at Q Division to design some sort toast-shaped gun, and I fully expect this new weapon to be the Scourge of the Taliban within months, Bin Laden cowering in his cave in fear of our new lunch-based bazooka.
Also, left to cool for a bit, and it's a tasty snack for our hard-working troops.
No need to thank me. We're all in this together.
Please play anything by Phil Collins.
Your pal,
Albert O'Balsam
And, on a similar vein: THIS
11 comments:
I cannot approve of these schemes to ridicule our new government.
In these difficult times we all need to pull together, and I have told Dave Cameron that I will be pulling for him.
Not only that but if the Taliban eat the cheese late at night it will give them nightmares.
Debster: Good point, well made
That's the last thing the Taliban want, a load of refugee curds hanging around the place.
Mmmm, cheese.
You could booby-trap some from your area, make some IEDs - Improvised Explosive Dorset Blue Vinnys.
Cheese - always posted second class, always delivered first class.
Um... Bloooger ate my comment.
I am affronted.
Oh I am the bomb, the one and only bomb! I am the one that can do the job! I can do for the likes of two and send off sparks into the caswafaire night air, that can rival a whole slew of Fourth of July in the pies ne er do wells!
Oh yes, I am the bomb, that can smell like cherries roasting up you quivering, wazoo of if you only could!
But i got it all over you, cause I am the bomb!
Cherry. Cheery bomb!
Oh I am the bomb, the one and only bomb! I am the one that can do the job! I can do for the likes of two and send off sparks into the caswafaire night air, that can rival a whole slew of Fourth of July in the pies ne er do wells!
Oh yes, I am the bomb, that can smell like cherries roasting up you quivering, wazoo of if you only could!
But i got it all over you, cause I am the bomb!
Cherry. Cheery bomb!
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