On cutting a deal with Alan Sugar

On cutting a deal with Alan Sugar

Lord Sugar's got a book out. You might have noticed him plugging it with little or no shame all over the press and the internet. Buggered if I'm paying twenty quid for it, not when my excellent work is less than half the price. I'll drop him a line.

Dear Lord of Sugar

Congratulations on your recent teabagging of that no good cur Piers Morgan in the World Teabagging Championships.

As a vaguely successful local businessman, I am intrigued by the release of your autobiography "What you see is what you get".

As a matter of fact, I am so intrigued that I have promised not to show my annoyance at your relentless plugging of your product on social media such as Twitter and Facebook.

It has come to such a pass, that people are beginning to refer to such endless self-promotion as 'Lordsugaring'. I followed your example and have Lordsugared my own book until close friends have told me to (and I quote) "Die in a Fire".

My question to you is this: As a vaguely successful local businessman, I wish to maximise my profits. So, when's your book going to be £2.99 in The Works? Buggered if I'm going to pay full price, when there's clearly a bit of slack built into the system. Cut us a deal, fella.

Your pal

Albert O'Balsam

I'm sure old fungus face will reward such upfront entrepreneurship.