More things that I'm not allowed to do

It appears I have been banned from taking a photograph of the dog's bottom, which I intend to use for sending to people who annoy me, with a big read arrow pointing to the dog's bottom saying "See that dog's bottom? That's you, that is". Wit in its highest form, I think you will agree.

Despite my protestations, Jane says that Dogston O'Hanrahan has something called his "dognity" to maintain, to which I counter with the fact that nobody - no least Dogston himself - is going to see his face. Dogston's anonymity will be preserved, I argue.

However, I believe the main objection to my desire of taking a photograph of a dog's bottom for comedic/insulting purposes is that Dogston O'Hanrahan has a tail that is known in the trade as "sticky down".

Bluntly, unless in the act of doneing a poo, Dogston's tail covers his bumhole with the efficiency of a small boy and a Dutch dyke. Somebody is going to have to catch Dogston by surprise and lift up his tail so that the goods are on display. And it's not going to be me, as the camera is for qualified personnel only.

So, this is what we're left with.

Frankly, I am disappoint.