So, driving in to work at the unearthly hour of a quarter-to-six in the morning. At least, one hopes, that the roads will be clear.Not so. My heart sinks as my headlong foot-to-the-floor descent on Reading is slowed by a white van pulling out of a road junction. I am forced to brake and think of an amusing death for the perperator of such a crime against my good humour. It is a van belonging to a local catering company. And written on the back in bold Comic Sans, The Font Of Champions:
"We specialise in hogroasts, funerals"Oh-ho! What if they do - oh-ho-! - a hogroast at a funeral? What - oh-ho! - if they get the stiff and the hog mixed up? What japes!
Then it pulled into the churchyard at Hartley Wintney, and I was a little bit sick in my mouth.
4 comments:
I read your post and feel queasy. Vegetarian that I am I can at least be assured that should these caterers ever turn up to a funeral I'm attending, I'll be having the Spinach and Feta option please.
You can nibble on my nuts...
Oh, yeah, what was I going to say?
That's it! Yes, one of the local funeral arrangers around my way has a white van advertising their services, which includes "All undertakings", floral arrangements, linens and catering. I only get slightly worried by the fact the company is called "Ginsters".
I always think about that late nineties 'roasting' craze premier league footballers were splashed all over the tabloids for. Add the word 'hog' and I imagine its an unfortunate-looking lady they're roasting. Add a funeral, and you've got a really inappropriate send-off for your dead granny.
"'roasting' craze premier league footballers"
"inappropriate send-off for your dead granny"
I take it Rooney was involved.
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