Do you know what I'd pay damn good money to see? I'd pay damn good money to see a pack of dogs chasing a one-man band down the street. Double the cash if they catch him.
In fact, I'd also like to hear a pack of dogs chasing a one-man band down the street, record it, and release it as the latest dubstep anthem for the musically cloth-eared.
In a similar vein, I'd also pay damn good money to see a bagpipe player in a one-on-one duel with a starving leopard.
With the Proms season coming up, I'm sure the BBC and those art-loving wallahs at the Royal Albert Hall could oblige.
Also, a bunch of accordian players versus a T-72 tank.
Also also: Jedward vs Ebola.