Friday, December 25, 2009

Neither Mirth Nor Woe: Rockets Rockets Rockets!

Neither Mirth Nor Woe: Rockets Rockets Rockets!

Edit: Now with working video

What you see here is a reckless idiot fitting his motorbike with a rocket launcher, and the sane amongst us can only stand and applaud his genius.

But, be warned: This cannot end well.

And I shall tell you why.

For, as an idiot, reckless teen I tried something similar, only with my bicycle.

I had already tried jousting on a bike, and been left in a bleeding, dog-crap smeared heap in the middle of Twyford Rec.

Lightning surely couldn't strike twice. Racing toward my similarly-armed foe (Matty from next door) with rocket launchers blazing away couldn't possibly prove potentially fatal, could it?

Of course not, otherwise you'd be reading a blog authored by Derek Acorah; and Matty wouldn't be alive and well and living in Australia, and not in a shallow grave round the back of the industrial estate under six inches of quicklime. Because he's in Australia. Honest.

It worked well in theory.

In practice, I suffered burns to both thighs, fell my bike off into an unfortunately placed dog turd, and a passing busybody who came within an ace of becoming collateral damage scuttled off home and rang the police.

The police arrived, who laughed at me and offered advice which I have done my best to ignore for my entire life: "Don't be a prick."

Apart from that, a complete success.

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