Since I started taking the drugs, very little these days drives me to violence.However, there are one or two things this could still tip me over the edge, running amok on a chainsaw-driven rampage. Warned, you have been:
- The Halifax 'Radio Station' advertisements
- UB40 – I've got you babe
- Richard Littlejohn: Warning! You may find yourself agreeing with Michael Winner
-
- James bloody Corden
So, Littlejohn and Corden on a Halifax advert singing "I've got you babe" = END OF THE WORLD.
What – dare I ask – annoys you?
18 comments:
Old people on buses before 9.00am
The French
People who say "Hey Ho"
Football shirts on anyone who isn’t immediately going to play football, is playing football currently or has just that instant finished playing football.
People who seem surprised to be asked to pay in the supermarket after packing all their shopping away
Pushchairs the size of Humvees
Alan Titchmarsh
Littering
People who get to the front of the queue in a fast food restaurant then pause to study the menu.
Having to wait for my pint because some tosser is ordering food and a couple of coffees
Lateness ( not death, just people not being on time)
Pregnant women rubbing their stomachs all the time
David Cameron
The guy over the road who can’t seem to get into his car without setting the alarm off ( at 6.00am every morning)
Lazy arse minicab drivers that sound the horn when they arrive no matter what the time is.
People who sound their horn when leaving after a ‘visit’ no matter what the bloody time is.
To be continued after a nice cup of tea to calm down
Printer ink packaging - first you open the box, then rip open the plasticy cover, remove the cartridge from some kind of cardboard cradle, remove the tape, and finally fit cartridge...leaving you with 3 wheelie bins worth of rubbish
Amazon book packaging: I damaged an expensive book simply trying to unpack it from its tight rolls of corrugated card, regular cardboard, bubble wrap, tape and paper.
ruth
Treading in dog shit.
Not getting the opportunity to shag Kelly Brook.
Finding out the bread is mouldy when the bacon is almost done.
And anonymous, you are right, Ruth annoys me also.
- skirmishmonkey.
People that park on my verge and crack it with me when I park them in.
People that think Bali is the most shit hot holiday destination, when all you get is the hot shits.
Paying tax.
Reality television. Sorry, "reality" television.
When my family don't write something on a shopping list when they use the last of it, and it's my fault that there's none next time.
Jeggings.
Smokers who see the ground as their own personal ashtray (ever tried to wrestle one of those out of the mouth of a toddler/dog???)
Still not having a prime minister
Having a prime minister
When my daughter asks for a ride to school and it's only two streets over.
People that get annoyed at me because Centrelink has cancelled their benefits. That's because you have a job, now. Welcome to the club. And stop double-dipping.
Double dippers.
Not finding anyone angry enough to appear on APILN
Adam 'not funny in the F'ing slightest' Sandler. I hate him so much. I get angry when I think about the movie Little Nicky and how that stole time from my life I will never get back....
In fact, just hand me the chainsaw already and his address.
Davina McCall phoning her imaginary friend about shampoo.
Stoner movies. Not funny to anyone not stoned. But why go to the bother of making a "comedy" for the only section of society that will laugh while someone cuts their feet off with a fish anyway? By implication, Seth Rogan.
The advert for the Dettol germ-free soap dispenser. IT DOESN'T MATTER, YOU'RE GOING TO WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS!
The twat who stole my ex's keys after she dropped them in the pictures. Why? You don't know who they belong to, where she lives or what car she drove. And my spare key was on there too.
People who pick up dogshit and then drop the bag. Just wait...
Wankers who sign on in front of me or are queuing up for an emergency loan while stinking of lager or who are so stoned they can't even say their own names. At least make the pretence that you're actively looking for a job a bit more convincing.
Anyone texting while pushing a pram or cycling. And while I'm here arseholes who cycle up behind you on the pavement and expect you get out of the way.
London.
People in 4 by 4's.
Not owning a 4 by 4 when it snows.
Old people who drive at 20mph when I am late for work
Chavs getting all up in my rear view when I am pootling about of an evening.
Smelling other people's bbq's when I live in a flat with no garden.
Glass of water for... Everyone!
Supposedly highly intelligent people who confuse intelligence with omniscience. Yeah, I DO know what I'm talking about, Einstein. I don't care how brilliant they told you you were in school. You don't know everything.
Loud neighbours.
People who don't signal a turn until they already making it.
People who walk in the road when there's a perfectly cromulent sidewalk right there.
Having to sign as Anonymous because this stoopid iPod won't let me do it any other way.
Everything.
Yours in annoyance,
Wrath of Dawn
Other people and sometimes myself.
And the world around me.
Except, or including our imaginary alter egos, Debster?
Oh definitely including.
Oh thank the Lord!
Someone else who wishes to see James Corden's cadaver stuffed into a fridge and dumped in a landfill.
Other Enemies of Corden will heartily endorse the following product or service.
All insurance adverts.
Pavlov's cat: have you been reading my secret notes?
@Schmethical.
No, but we may be hearing the same voices.
@Schmethical Funeral Insurance ads
Scary, why have you crosses out Nissan Micra drivers? They really are a curse on humanity!
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