On not winning a holiday in Kenya
"Win a tea-tasting holiday in Kenya!" screams the side of the box of PG Tips tea-bags in my kitchen.
"Using your skill and judgement," Munkeh says, "Tell us what you think your taste-buds are telling you and you could be on your way to Kenya for the holiday of a lifetime!"
Peasy, but they haven't left much room on the entry form, so "I think PG Tips tastes like month-dead tramp juice pured through James Corden's Y-Front gusset and blended with the tormented souls of the damned" is totally out, as is "I think PG Tips tastes like Ken Dodd's dad's dog, which is incidentally, dead."
So, I've thought long and hard about this and my winning entry is this:
"I think PG Tips tastes like Your Mum"
I can taste those elephant steaks already.