Oh Lordy, another six-hour meeting of unfocused rage and circular arguments as my life creeps ever closer to its inevitable appointment with the Grim Reaper.And then, as the conversation goes around the block for the third time, a relevation from the chair:
"This subject is closed. We've made up our minds."
"But..." protests the most persistant of those seated around the table, "but..."
"Let's not waste any more time on this, I can feel my life slipping away, and we have to move onto the next item on the agenda..."
"But... but... but... what about ME?"
"In fact, the next person who even speaks about the previous item on the agenda will be clubbed to death with a chair leg and buried in a shallow grave in the car park."
"But... but... you've completely failed to take into account the way I've been doing this job for the last 17 years and..."
*SPANG!*
*CRUMP*
*APPLAUSE*
"Action point: Body disposal, that's your forte, is it not Scary?"
And as I wrap the still-twitching corpse in clingfilm, my joy is unbounded.
9 comments:
A welcome return for SPANG. When can we have a sickinahedge and Yaaaaaaarch?
Ooh yeah, I remember spang.
You have quite an imagination.
Ah! Clingfilm, never leave home without it (and a roll of Duct tape).
My criminology qualifications, a course in Forensics and dropping references to 'Dexter' into the conversation makes meetings seem to end so much quicker once I get the clingfilm and tape out. They don't usually get to the SPANG! part (more's the pity).
Captain Von - your lucky, I mentioned wanting to "cheerfully kill some of my colleagues" and they sent me to Occupational Health for assessment.
Two months off and some nice medication later - would have preferred The Dreaded and Awesome Frying Pan of Spang.
Did you dump the body inna hedge? (He asks hopefully).
GT
GT - yes, let's get that car park up on Google Street and see.
Lovely spang, wonderful spang!
Signed,
Dawson
This is why I always keep a plastic drop cloth and duct tape in the car...
SPANG!?
From a chair leg?
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