"Turkish Delight?" asks The Fragrant Mrs Duck.
No. I cannot eat Turkish Delight, and I tell her why.
"It's dead people. It's how old people's homes make their money."
You see, that whole Soylent Green thing is a myth. It's actually red, and comes covered in chocolate.
"All the more for me, then," she says in triumph, not knowing what passes between those sweet, sweet lips.
I have not finished.
"And I'll tell you what else they make out of dead people," I say.
Her eyes roll in that well-practiced "here we go" expression.
"I'll tell you what else they make out of dead people," I say as an advertisement for a well-known DIY chain appears on the television, "Loft insulation."
"Right."
"Tesco Value guitar strings. Kebabs. Daniel O'Donnell fans."
"Anything else?"
"The inside of Etch-a-Sketch machines."
And another thing.
"I am not mad."
12 comments:
'Course not, Scary. You keep telling yourself that.
Sahara Desert.
We made a bird-feeder out of Grandma.
Turd.
Your poor, dead wife. Mind you, anybody who buys Turkish Delight deserves what is coming to them.
Why do you think it's called Shepherd's Pie?
WrathofDawn
Or steak and kidney pie, for that matter. But I never knew about the inside of Etch-a-Sketch machines. What an eye opener.
Oooh! I want to be an etch-a-sketch when I'm dead!
That sounds like fun. And a bit dizzy-making when you get erased.
Turkish Delight is people!?
The etch-a-sketch makes seance. Must be people ash.
And don't forget Parma Violets - made from grandmothers armpits and net curtains.
P.S. Erin - it's Snake and Pygmy pie (at least when I make it - it's getting quite difficult to find a pygmy in Brighton these days - I think they're on to me).
Turkish Delight is people!
I'm fine to give up turkish delight. But no-one can take my Etch-a-Sketch.
That's why I buy Turkish Delight!
Turkish Delight is made out of snails, as any fule kno.
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