Now that I'm renting a room from a friend for my midweek stays in Reading, I thought I'd do the decent thing and push the vacuum cleaner around for a bit. Yes, I confess, madness overtook me and I shall not do it again.Eventually, I found the hoover, ran it over the coffee table as per The Rules of Bloke, but my search also turned up the following:
* Jerry can full of petrol
* Box of fireworks
* Set of golf clubs
* Life-sized cardboard cut-out of an Imperial Stormtrooper
* A box of genuine antique pizza menus
* DVD of Scooby Doo: The Movie
* A million unused vacuum cleaner dust bags
* Paul Gascoigne with a fishing rod and a bucket of fried chicken
Yup, it's a Bachelor Pad
13 comments:
You push the vacuum cleaner around for a bit?
Bully.
Will send robovac over to sort you out.
Having been looking at house details recently, bachelor pads are instantly recognisable by the crap carpet, lank curtains, stacks of Wife Beater/and or John Smiths and a state of the art entertainment system with unfeasibly huge speakers. I have seen this.
First rule of Bachelor Pad.
Make sure you never, I repeat never open the curtains. Unless it is to watch the milf over the road wash her car / put the rubbish out.
skirmishmonkey.
Isn't that Apple's latest fondleslab?
There's a MILF over the road? All we've got is a chip shop.
There's a moro-islamic fundamentalist group on your road?
@Alistair: Not true. You have Mrs Warboys.
Full can of petrol? You're rich! Although the Scooby Doo DVD takes points off the cool scale.
Mrs Warboys is more of a gilf. Or ggilf.
What pervert bought hoover bags??
Skirmishmonkey - The first rule of Bachelor Pad is, you DO NOT talk about Bachelor Pad (or clean the toilet)
Where's the poster of the tennis player scratching her arse?
If there is not an unfeasibly large stereo system, it is not, I repeat, NOT a true Bachelor Pad.
Hie thee hence to the nearest purveyor of quality electronics pronto lest you lose your status.
I daresay in these modern times a ginormous flatscreen plasma whatsit TV with Blu-Ray etc., etc., may also be required to fulfill BP standards.
Also, there are MILFs EVERYWHERE. Scout out the locals sharpish, lest see above re standards.
Do try to keep up, Duck.
Haha, a ginormous flatscreen...playing Scooby Doo.
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