The Diet industry.Billions of pounds spent every year by people in the hope that it's the magic cure to losing weight. A magic cure when all they really want is to eat less and walk to the corner shop.
But in this results-led society, people want to see instant results, and when the weight doesn't fall off the second they've popped a pill and spent ten of the most boring minutes on their life on a piece of torture equipment they've bought off a TV Shopping channel, they soon go back to the cake.
Billions of pounds. Wasted. And I want some of that sweet, sweet money.
So. Back to basic. People want to pay genuine cash money for a quick fix for their huge wobbling arse problem, and what they really want to do is eat less. A lot less.
I can do that.
And taking the tried-and-tested concept of "What doesn't kill me makes me strong", it should be pointed out that I have never once been killed by a chip sandwich and a cream cake.
Especially not the cake. No-one, as far as I know, has every been killed in a cake-related accident.
If we take cake, dilute it and shake it, dilute it and shake it, dilute it and shake it, dilute it and shake it, dilute it and shake it, dilute it and shake it, dilute it and shake it, dilute it and shake it, dilute it and shake it, dilute it and shake it, dilute it and shake it, dilute it and shake it and put it on a sugar pill, we end up with HOMEOPATHIC CAKE.
HOMEOPATHIC CAKE which is the ideal diet solution for today's slimmer-in-a-hurry-with-far-too-much-money-to-burn.
Yeah, genius. Don't tell me.
"Ha ha!" I hear you say, "How are people who want to lose weight going to shed the pounds when they're guzzling homeopathic cake on a sugar pill that's made out of actual sugar? Get out of THAT, clever trousers."
To which I say: Nutra-Sweet.
This time next year, Rodders....
12 comments:
Won't homeopathic cake be many times MORE fattening than normal cake?
What cakes you got?
I'll have one Victoria sponge, a Date and Walnut and a Tipsy cake please.
What? Too much? You won't be wanting any then!
If homeopathic cake is just water, then you'd really just be drinking lots of water. Which can be good for you. Unless you're me, then you'd probably end up RETAINING said water.
CAKE OR DEATH!!!!
I'll have cake, please...
Using this shake dilute shake dilute technology, could I maybe put the juce of ONE lima bean into a glass and do all that shaking and diluting stuff and then NEVER EVER EVER have to eat my Aunt's lima bean casserole at a family dinner again, as I'd be able to tell her I'd already done so in the morning?
But beans are so good for your heart...
You stole my post... kind of. You would have stolen my post if I'd actually gone ahead with it, many months ago, but I went with something else instead. The would-be post was titled 'Losing Weight is Easy' and basically outlined what you have here. I've never understood the diet fad either. Is there any real difference between a diet and eating sensibly? I'm a fat bastard - I don't like the way it makes me feel and dislike even more the way it makes me look, but I know that the answer to me getting thin again (I was once) is to stop eating meals at 3:00am and do some exercise. It's not rocket science. Having the strength and will power to do so is a different matter, but is also totally irrelevent.
And eating more sweetcorn ...
No-one, as far as I know, has every been killed in a cake-related accident.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/7262435.stm
that is all
@Debster: "And eating more sweetcorn ..."
I've told you it's not sweetc... Oh, gottcha.
@Anonymous: that was in Wales. You have to make allowances for the Welsh...
/coat
But if you did this, we would be denied these kinds of wonderful photo ops.
http://www.watfordobserver.co.uk/news/8937374.Blooming__marvellous__fayre_proves_a_hit/
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