Mum's gone to Iceland
"ICELAND," said the sign on the side of a lorry owned by Britain's third skankiest supermarket parked in a layby just outside Dorchester.
"ICELAND - Because mums are heroes"
It's "heroines", you twats. Heroines.
Although, I can see their point. They've come up with a marvellous advertising slogan, that sounds great, and looks passable painted on the side of lorries, even when parked up in Dorset's premier transvestite dogging site.
But say it out loud, and it comes out like this: "ICELAND - Because mums take heroin", which is hardly the image that Britain's third skankiest supermarket chain wants to project, especially after that nasty business with Kerry Katona and the Bolivian Marching Powder.
Or maybe it is? Do they really want drug-addled mums staggering around the aisles, fighting over the £1 per dozen pizzas and begging passers-by for the price of a chicken tikka lasagne?
I would happily abandon my local Asda if that's the kind of thing that awaits me at Britain's third skankiest supermarket chain. In fact, I shall write to Iceland THIS MINUTE to ensure that this is the case.
It's not as though supply's a problem. After all, the people behind this monstrosity were clearly not on the same plane as the rest of us:
KIDS: Just say no.