This coming 27th March marks the 2011 Census in the UK, and Census forms are already dropping through letter boxes up and down the country. Some people are even going to fill them in.While millions flip a coin over whether to put themselves down as a Jedi or a member of the Holy Church of Don't Be A Dick, many more, however, have been perplexed by Question 17.
Or rather, the lack of a Question 17.
Everybody turn to Question 17. Colonials: You'll just have to share. There you'll see the words "This question intentionally left blank".
W T and indeed F?
The answer to this is simple: It's reserved for Scottish and Welsh forms and is about use of language.
In Scotland, the question is "How well do you speak English?" In much of Glasgow, the correct reply is, of course, "Help ma Boab!"
In Wales, it is about the use of the Welsh language.
So, what do we, the persecuted English majority put in the space provided?
After consulting with an ACTUAL OFFICIAL WELSH, I am told that you should write in "Nag ydw, dw i ddim yn siarad Gymraeg", which will earn you a million excellence points at the Office of National Statistics, and a knock on the door in the middle of the night from the dreaded Cymru Rouge.
Then, you can put on your best Max Boyce cod Welsh accent and say "I know, because I was there."
Or, draw a picture of a man's willy. Your call.
20 comments:
Census sensibility.
Do you get paid for filling it out?
Pseudo - no, they tax us (more) for it...
Mae haerllygrwydd y llywodraeth yn ddychrynllyd.
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch - The noise a welshman makes when flying his kite too close to the electicity pylon.
- Skirmishmonkey
The posh bits of Glasgow would say "Help ma Boab".
The other bits ie where I stay would say "Furfuxake"
"Dydw i ddim yn llenwi hynny mewn, dw i'n mynd i'r Iwerddon"
*cough*
Rik, I've told you about that cough before.
At least you're not going to Iceland.
"Or, draw a picture of a man's willy."
As opposed to a lady's willy?
I believe question 17 is where you add your own "scratch and sniff" reply for the people at the census bureau.
p.s. Pffft = Debster said willy (again)- Pffft
p.p.s. Mae fy hofrenfad yn llawn o lyswennod.
Beidh mé ag tarraingt ar an Willy. I think.
Hoffwn guy i llafariad, Pat
Rwy'n fath fel spaz.
Hoffwn brynu llafariad, Pat
Wonderful headline.
What about, "Who will be staying overnight here on the 17 March?"
?? Do they know something I don't?
Or the first question in the 'About Person One' section... "What is your name?"
I already fucking told you that on the first page!!
Took <5 minutes online.
LOL at duckorange's tweet:
Happy International Womens Day! WHERE'S MY PANCAKE? #wrongness
For Q17, I answered, "This answer intentionally left blan... oh."
Too late. They did the 2001 census as well.
People who fill in Question 17 are taken to Wales and conscripted into the militia. Croeso pawb.
Just found your fab blog. Laughing out loud and telling ma wee dog how funny you are!
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