Wednesday, March 09, 2011



One from the Suggestions Box:

"Dear Boss,

I understand that we have a Prayer Room in our offices, where people of a religious bent may go and pray to the god, gods, or many-tentacled soul-eating beast of their choice. I also note, in the way of political correctness, this room is actually called the Quiet Room.

As a deity-curious atheist, I suggest that you might want to provide a Non-Prayer Room where myself and other non-believers can go and do whatever it is we do. I'm not sure exactly what it is yet, but you might like to call it The Arsing Around On The Internet Room.

And on a similar vein, I notice that the smokers in this establishment have an outdoor Shelter Of Shame where they go, smoke cigarettes and waste literally hours of the company's time and money.

Being a non-smoker who once tried hanging around in the Smokers' Bus Shelter, but fled fearing for my life, I want some of this sweet, sweet skiving in the car park. So, can we have our own Non-Smokers' Smoking Shelter, featuring free fruit-based snacks, cake, internet access and a comfy sofa?

You might - and here's a real money-saving suggestion - want to merge the Non-Smokers' Smoking Shelter and the Arsing Around On The Internet Room into one EXCELLENT establishment featuring a nice lady that offers massages to select employees.

I can guarantee that I will spend no more than six hours of each working day in the Non-Smokers' Smoking Arsing Around On The Internet Shelter, and my productivity with increase by approximately 576%. I will also guarantee that I will not smell of either a) fags and b) smug self-satisfaction.

Stay Lucky

Your pal

Albert O'Balsam"

And, as if by magic, I receive a reply:

"Dear O'Balsam

Get on with your work.

Always lucky.



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