On what is, actually, the worst thing in the world
"Time to wake up, Mr Bond! Double-oh-seven - wake up, man!"
"What the Devil, Blofeld," said Bond, rubbing his head, remembering dimly how the SPECTRE henchmen had beaten him mercilessly.
He was, his senses slowly returning from the confusion of chase, capture and unconsiousness, all questions: "Where the hell am I? Where are my shoes? Do... Do you expect me to talk?"
Ernst Stavro Blofeld chuckled and ran his fingers through the fur of his white Persian cat.
"No, Mr Bond, I expect you to walk free!"
"Is this," a confused 007 said, "Is this some sort of trap?"
"You know me, Mr Bond", said Blofeld, a look of impending victory on his face, "I never lie in the line of business. You may leave through the door on the other side of this room."
"ANKLE DEEP IN LEGO BRICKS!"
Bond lost control of his bowels as his body descended into a panic for which years of Double-O training could not prepare him.
"I'LL TALK! I'LL SAY ANYTHING! 'M' IS REALLY JUDI DENCH! AAAAAAARGH!"