Every day, thousands of apostrophes are misused, abused and dumped in the street by their uncaring owners.We get reports on an hourly basis of such horrors as BURGER'S, CHILDRENS MEAL'S and RESIDENT'S ONLY, these poor apostrophes humiliated in public - often in comic sans - then abandoned without shelter, food or money.
Please help.
If you see a shop-keeper, restaurant owner or church jumble sale volunteer abusing apostrophes, ACT QUICKLY. Punch the cur in the fork (it being the only language they understand), then call the police who are legally obliged to also punch the curs in the fork.
And once you have done that, send money, because this campaign to rehouse orphaned apostrophes is quite extraordinarily expensive.
Make your cheques out to Calumniated Apostrophes Safe House (or C.A.S.H.) and we will do the rest.
Please: Think of the apostrophes.
NO SEMI-COLON'S.
4 comments:
First for apostrophe's!
My local Iceland is offering "Free cereal bowl when you buy two box's". STOP THIS NATIONAL OUTRAGE
BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN
Why American men should boycott American women
http://boycottamericanwomen.blogspot.com
I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don’t know how to cook or clean, don’t want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?
American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.
This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.
BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN!
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Sincerely,
John Rambo
It's not just English apostrophes that are in jeopardy, such diacritics when utilised in other languages completely alter the meaning of the word. For example that poor, poor girl in Pakistan who mis-spelled an Urdu word changing its meaning from hymn to curse. Indeed, a slip during the translation of the Bible has us dreading the coming of the 'Whore of Babylon', whereas in the original Aramaic it is 'Whore of Basingstoke'.
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