On not putting the clocks back
Every year it's the same.
Every year there's an argument whether the clocks should go back an hour at the end of summer, leaving us plunged into darkness by five in the evening.
The reasoning we are given - year in, year out - is to give Scottish farmers and children going to school an extra hour of daylight in the morning, when the sun comes up at about lunchtime.
Others argue that the early evenings cost the country millions in lost production and increased traffic accidents.
Well, I've got the solution to that. Leave the clocks alone, and give every man woman and child north of the border a free set of night vision goggles, which they must wear at all times.
This plan will pay for itself in a matter of months, and will also enable the easier identification of anybody who may be of the Scotch persuasion, fo eg: They are the ones wearing night vision goggles.
We are - of course - keeping an eye on the situation after the government's recent annoucement that they are to dump GMT/BST in favour of a proposed move to British Hammertime.
I am not mad.