I rolled up to the car park outside Budgens for some teabags and a packet of Rice Crispies, when a rat-face ne'er-do-well approached me.
"Scuse me, Mister," he said, "You look a good sort."
It's a lie, but I rolled with it.
"I'm s'posed to be going to a job interview," said the scruff, clearly not dressed for a job interview, "an' my car's run out of petrol. Could you give me some money?"
Heard it, and only one answer: "Bugger off."
"Look," he said, continuing with one of the oldest cons in the book, "I'll give you me gold ring."
He showed me a ring that might as well have come out of a cracker. Yeah, I'll bite.
"Let me just get you some cash. It's ...err... in the cash."
"Nice one, guv, nice one."
So, I went back to the car, and got him fifty of the Queen's Pounds. Here it is:
"What the fu... What's that?"
"Fake fifty quid for your fake ring. Now piss off."
He pissed off.
But seriously, watch out for these chancing arses. They're everywhere.
5 comments:
Yep, someone tried it on me in Paris a few years ago. Pretended to find a ring right in front of us and handed it to me, saying it might bring me good luck, then said that since it's probably worth a bit when I sell it we should give her some money. I handed it back and told her to sell it instead.
"I don't want your ring, but I'll give you 20 quid for a full-face photo. Smile please. No?"
I am impressed by the Queen's cleavage on that £50 note. She doesn't get 'em out on the 10s or 20s.
Is that the queen? I thought it was Rolf Harris in a frock.
I am mildly depressed. People only ever try and sell me dodgy watches in car parks...
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