On begging like a shameless git in the name of SCIENCE
As you know, there's a recession on. Having studied economics and social mobility for an Open University course, this concept essentially boils down to the fact that we - the general population - have no money at all, while a small percentage (who he shall call 'very, very rich people') are very, very rich people.
If – by lucky chance - you happen to fall into this latter category, you may think it your earthly duty to consider redistributing the wealth by buying me something from my Amazon Wish List.
Better still, a large briefcase of used fivers sent to my home address by a reputable firm of couriers would be equally valid.
You – being one of this remarkably small percentage of very, very rich people - can probably afford a decent accountant, so I dare say you can claim this against tax.
"Go on - be your best friend. It's my birthday this week. Expensive electronic goods especially welcome."
Fun with money: See that bloke of the back of the five pound note? They guy in the glasses? You know – the one behind the lady with the American Football helmet saying "LOL". Him. Thomas Buxton, 1st Baronet.
"See that bloke?" I say to the owner of the convenience store on Buxton Road which we are currently boycotting.
"Thomas Buxton. Buxton Road is named after him."
"Bloody hell, that's good."
Then I put it back in my wallet and bugger off home.
Very, very rich people: Send more money so I can do this in stereo. It will be EXCELLENT.