As you know, there's a recession on. Having studied economics and social mobility for an Open University course, this concept essentially boils down to the fact that we - the general population - have no money at all, while a small percentage (who he shall call 'very, very rich people') are very, very rich people.If – by lucky chance - you happen to fall into this latter category, you may think it your earthly duty to consider redistributing the wealth by buying me something from my Amazon Wish List.
Better still, a large briefcase of used fivers sent to my home address by a reputable firm of couriers would be equally valid.
You – being one of this remarkably small percentage of very, very rich people - can probably afford a decent accountant, so I dare say you can claim this against tax.
"Go on - be your best friend. It's my birthday this week. Expensive electronic goods especially welcome."
Fun with money: See that bloke of the back of the five pound note? They guy in the glasses? You know – the one behind the lady with the American Football helmet saying "LOL". Him. Thomas Buxton, 1st Baronet.
"See that bloke?" I say to the owner of the convenience store on Buxton Road which we are currently boycotting.
"Thomas Buxton. Buxton Road is named after him."
"Bloody hell, that's good."
Then I put it back in my wallet and bugger off home.
Very, very rich people: Send more money so I can do this in stereo. It will be EXCELLENT.
38 comments:
It is excellent. And I am very rich. Did you enjoy the books?
Buy him stuff, loyal readers.
Anonymous.
Further investigation of this site reveals a lack of button linked to Paypal for the give me munny! part of your post. Fix it immediately or I'll set the hounds on you. I am still very rich, although somewhat less rich than this time last year.
Anonymous
Big fat turd just for today.
And Misty goes Fourth.
Only fourth.
And I've been awake most of the night.
Insomnia sucks, but at least I can get a decent placing I suppose.
PS. I also have an Amazon Wish List, but I'd rather be able to afford a barrister so that I can keep my home as my parents wanted.
I don't suppose anyone's got a couple of grand they can lend me have they?
I'll pay it back with interest, I promise.
I just want a house. Is that too much to ask on Freecycle?
I'm not a very, very rich person, not even simply rich. So there.
I don't think very very very rich people pay tax.
Don't look at me, I ran out of money in October. I'm living on leftover pizza crusts and date-expired corned beef.
Which I insist they return to calling 'bully beef'.
I have no money unless you pay my mortgage for me. Fair deal?
I've just had a thought.
We might all have a little bit more money if we didn't hang around arseing about on here all day.
The reason I have no money is because I'm generous to a fault. Today, for example, I'm helping a rather large company get rid of all their old PCs for free. Yes, for free. The cheapest quote they'd had previously was a grand! Am I too generous?
Yes. Yes, you are. And thanks for the unsolicited computer that arrived in the mail today.
Misty - where would be the fun in that?
Pseudonymph - your turd comment brought me to this situation in Barry, S Wales, normally a haven for retirees, druggies and hippies. The manager who is obviously very very very rich has obviously pissed someone off.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/7895550.stm
Anonymous: I love you! Marry me!!
I will do anything for money.
Tzonar
Anonymous: HUGE thanks for the books (Gaiman's 'Preludes and Nocturnes' and a Patrick O'Brian novel, by the way), as they are EXCELLENT choices. Like you. Whoever you are.
Aled:
Can't they test poo for DNA now?
If so, you're in a world of trubble :)
Debster: I didn't say there would be any fun, just that it was a thought was all... :o)
Anyway, 3D world = over-rated IMO.
Isolator: DNA tests on poo can be done, but unless a sample of your DNA is already on file it's useless.
Tz.
Alistair...er... Scary, you're showing your age with that selection, almost exactly the same as mine.
Steve: Yeah, I know.
Tz:
I may be out of work soon, but "Poo DNA tester" won't be on my shortlist of jobs sought...
SD:
Did you get the disc of MP3s OK?
If so, there's a few you can knock off that list... :)
3D world contains KITTENS. Not over rated.
Tz, I am, already married. And I am a lady! We are allowed our own dollarz these days, and I hear that soon we may be able to vote and drive an automobile! But I'll wait to see THAT one.
Scary - you're most welcome, but as for the backhanded compliment in EXCELLENT choices in books - you DID actually realise I was picking from your wishlist, hence your choices?
Everyone else - buy him stuff. Reading this blog saves dollarz on newspapers and magazines. Do it now.
Anonymous
Aled: the bank obviously gave someone the shits. God knows I've had my share of trouble with WankBest here.
*cough*
If anybody is still awake, there's possibly the chance of a 'First' going over at mine.
http://misty69stuff.blogspot.com/
Yep, insomnia has me in it's grip once again.
Anybody got any horse tranquilizers to spare?
Poo + DNA = they'll know what you had for dinner. And that your diet is lacking in roughage.
Horse tranquilizers are probably better left to the horses, I'm thinking...
Just for future reference, ranting, cut-and-pasting Anonymous is NOT the same kind, sweet, book-giving, not going to marry Tzonar Anonymous that featured yesterday. I should know. I am her.
Anonymous
I mean, what's the point of cutting-and-pasting crap into my comments box?
I'm only going to delete it.
*deletes*
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