Oh-ho! Time to write a letter to the local rag.
Dear The Reading ChronicleMay I use the pages of your fine journal to congratulate Reading's very own Kate Winslet over her well-deserved success in this year's Academy Awards?
Of course, we – as a city - should strike while the iron is hot and afford Miss Winslet the honour her triumph deserves. She is, after all, the first famous person Reading has had that we haven't thrown into prison, a fact that even the most cold-hearted citizen would admit is well worth celebrating.
I intend no disrespect to the residents of Winslet Place at the far end of the Oxford Road, but a mere block of flats opposite a retail park really doesn't cut the mustard as far as I am concerned when it comes to honouring our talented celebrities. If I had my way, I'd throw these people onto the streets and raze this insult to the Sainted Kate to the ground, hoping that she may spare us her wrath.
Reading needs to think big, and we need some sort of worthless gesture that both celebrates Kate The Woman and shows the rest of the world that the capital of the Thames Valley will not be cowed by the global credit crisis.
I would suggest, therefore, a 300-foot floodlit statue of a Titanic-era Kate standing naked yet tastefully posed, athwart Brunel's Great Western Railway line as it crosses the Caversham Road, as a permanent symbol of all that is great about this fine city.
Although I envisage the gold-plating will push the costs well into seven figures, I am confident that the bill will be met from a mix of public subscription (at gunpoint if need be), and local patron of the arts Sir John Madejski (also at gunpoint if need be). Additionally, people would pay to visit the viewing gallery in Kate's voluminous chest, from which they would – on a clear day – be able to see as far as the historic birthplace of Ricky Gervais.
What visitor would not be inspired by the sight of Reading's most famous daughter as they pass between her fine, perfectly formed Made-in-Berkshire legs on their way to work? I know I would.
I am not mad.
Your pal,
Albert O'Balsam
Emmer Green
Dear Scary
We, your loyal band of readers were expecting a repeat of the infamous 'I poked Kate Winslet in the tit with a scud magazine' story. Where is the 'I poked Kate Winslet in the tit with a scud magazine' story? We demand the 'I poked Kate Winslet in the tit with a scud magazine' story RIGHT NOW.
Your pals,
Loyal Band of Readers (Mrs)
The 'I poked Kate Winslet in the tit with a scud magazine' story: It is HERE.
23 comments:
And perhaps an annual Steaming Up of the Windows to continue in the Titanic theme?
Poked Kate Winslet in the TITanic?
Kate Winslet's Turd.
one of your best - and the story isn't bad either.
Poked with a cold, hard, scud magazine...
What a way to meet the ladies.
It would have done it for me, I tell ye.
Audrey, brace yourself.
German Tony
I suspect your letter may be too long, even for those folk employed in trying to find something interesting in Reading. I do hope that it gets published. Although I've read it here, so I don't want to have to read it again.
Vicus: The 'Chronic' is a weekly broadsheet newspaper with up to three pages of letters, usually all from the same people. They'd publish *anything*.
I'll have to start writing to them then.
Anything?
I often wondered who wrote to the newspapers.
Now listen here, I'm no snob, but Kate Winslet's got several plums in her gob and far to posh to come from Reading, isn't she?
The letter: IT IS SENT. I shall update you on Thursday.
E. Marks: That is one of life's great mysteries. The area she comes from is plagued with prossies and drugs.
Changing the subjest slightly*, has anyone noticed the ad by Google for 'Roast Duck' on the sidebar?
I'm worried that it might be something to do with Scary and the 'spit' variety.
Readers should be warned.
*Totally.
Misty, on mine there's an invitation to adopt a duck for mental health.
There's not a lot more one can say.
Winslet: it's about time. Now we can move on from the fear of the worlds most over-emotional speech from a Brit, & let Americans such as Halle Berry get back to blubbing hysterically in the limelight.
Much more importantly, I tried Walkers Fish & Chips flavour today. Jusy like Salt & Vinegar that's been stored too close to a crate of dodgy turbot. So, not too bad then. Onion Bahji tomorrow :)
Nothing from you-know-who for over a week now. Dare we to hope?
Misty - on mine it says:
Black Duck
Reduce Legal Risks and Ensure Legal Compliance w/Accurate Code Audits.
I was doing OK until I read this, but now I'm wondering if I've not legally complied with something...
Isolater42: plz to stop tempting fate.
成人電影,情色,本土自拍, 免費A片, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友, 本土自拍, 免費A片下載, 性愛,
成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室,
色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 美女交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人貼圖, 成人電影, A片, 豆豆聊天室, 聊天室, UT聊天室, 尋夢園聊天室, 男同志聊天室, UT男同志聊天室, 聊天室尋夢園, 080聊天室, 080苗栗人聊天室, 6K聊天室, 女同志聊天室, 小高聊天室, 情色論壇, 色情網站, 成人網站, 成人論壇, 免費A片, 上班族聊天室, 成人聊天室, 成人小說, 微風成人區, 色美媚部落格, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人論壇, 情色聊天室, 寄情築園小遊戲,
AV女優,成人電影,情色,本土自拍, A片下載, 日本A片, 麗的色遊戲, 色色網, ,嘟嘟情人色網, 色情網站, 成人網站, 正妹牆, 正妹百人斬, aio,伊莉, 伊莉討論區, 成人遊戲, 成人影城, ut聊天室, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, aV, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片,成人電影,情色,本土自拍,
咆哮小老鼠影片分享區, 金瓶梅影片, av女優王國, 78論壇, 女同聊天室, 熟女貼圖, 1069壞朋友論壇gay, 淫蕩少女總部, 日本情色派, 平水相逢, 黑澀會美眉無名, 網路小說免費看, 999東洋成人, 免費視訊聊天, 情色電影分享區, 9k躺伯虎聊天室, 傑克論壇, 日本女星杉本彩寫真, 自拍電影免費下載, a片論壇, 情色短片試看, 素人自拍寫真, sex888影片分享區, 1007視訊, 雙贏論壇, 爆爆爽a片免費看, 天堂私服論壇, 情色電影下載, 成人短片, 麗的線上情色小遊戲, 情色動畫免費下載, 日本女優, 小說論壇, 777成人區, showlive影音聊天網, 聊天室尋夢園, 義大利女星寫真集, 韓國a片, 熟女人妻援交, 0204成人, 性感內衣模特兒, 影片, 情色卡通, 85cc免費影城85cc, 本土自拍照片, 成人漫畫區, 18禁, 情人節阿性,
做愛的漫畫圖片, 情色電影分享區, 做愛ㄉ影片, 丁字褲美女寫真, 色美眉, 自拍俱樂部首頁, 日本偷自拍圖片, 色情做愛影片, 情色貼圖區, 八國聯軍情色網, 免費線上a片, 淫蕩女孩自拍, 美國a片, 都都成人站, 色情自拍, 本土自拍照片, 熊貓貼圖區, 色情影片, 5278影片網, 脫星寫真圖片, 粉喵聊天室, 金瓶梅18, aaaa片, 免費聊天, 免費成人影音, 彩虹自拍, 小魔女貼影片, 自拍裸體寫真, 禿頭俱樂部, 環球av影音城, 學生色情聊天室, 視訊美女, 辣妹情色圖, 性感卡通美女圖片, 影音, 情色照片 做愛, hilive tv , 忘年之交聊天室, 制服美女, 性感辣妹, ut 女同聊天室, 淫蕩自拍, 處女貼圖貼片區, 聊天ukiss tw, 亞亞成人館, 777成人, 秋瓷炫裸體寫真, 淫蕩天使貼圖, 十八禁成人影音, 禁地論壇, 洪爺淫蕩自拍, 秘書自拍圖片,
言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, ut聊天室, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊,
免費A片, 本土自拍, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片, 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片, 免費A片下載, 性愛, 成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 自拍, A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網, 影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友,
百家乐 轮盘 21点 德州扑克 百家乐系统 真人娱乐场 百家乐足球德州扑克 电子游戏 英格兰超级联赛 德国甲组联赛 意大利甲组联赛西班牙甲组联赛法国甲组联赛欧冠杯 英超 足球比分 足球彩票 体育彩票 即时比分 免費a片 a片 免費av 色情影片 情色 情色網 色情網站 色情 成人網成人圖片成人影片 18成人 av av女優avav女優性 情慾 走光 做愛 sex H漫 情色 情趣用品 情色 a片 a片 成人網站 成人影片 情趣用品 情趣用品アダルトアダルト アダルトサイト アダルトサイト 情趣用品
免費a片 a片 免費av 色情影片 情色 情色網 色情網站 色情 成人網成人圖片成人影片 18成人 av av女優avav女優性情慾 走光 做愛 sex H漫 情色 情趣用品 情色 a片 a片 成人網站 成人影片 情趣用品 情趣用品アダルトアダルト アダルトサイト アダルトサイト 情趣用品
補正下着
This cannot have effect in actual fact, that's what I think.
Post a Comment