You know something? We haven't done offensive TV and film listings for positively AGES.Today's mission is to provide the foulest, most offensive television shows and movie titles known to humanity, and whack them without mercy into my comments box.
To show that I am – as usual – an equal opportunities bigot, no subject is declared off-limits. Unless, of course, I decide otherwise, using my Patent Daily-Mail-Outrage-o-Tron.
If anything, this will probably see off all the new readers I've picked up in the last month or so. Here we go:
Movies
- Belmer and Louise
- The Empire Strikes Spack
- Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Flid
- Paedos of the Carribean: Dead Flat Chest
TV
Jack-me-off-a-nory
Friday Night with Jonathan Ross (oh-ho!)
Iced Toad Fuckers
The South Bank Show (Rhyming slang)
CSI: Creamy Slut Intruder
Terry Pratchett: Living with Alzheim... no... sorry... tip of me tongue... gone
Get in there!
54 comments:
F-I-R-S-T
...and it's still Sunday here, so Hippo Birdy Two Jews.
Turd.
Always fancied a spot of Celebrity Teburculosis Die-Off
Ross Kemp On Gang Bangs
High School Musical Massacre
Animal Hospital Disasters
Lark Rise to Wankingford
The Anore(x)ic-Factor
Guess Who's Cumming On Dinner
I'm Not a Celebrity - Kill Me!
Okay I really have to go to work now :(
24 hour coverage of Jane Goodie dying in the Big Brother house
Scary, that horrible JM is a bad influence on you.
p.s. The Orifice.
Porridge wins.
& If the Scary Duck clebrity death game is still running - Jade Goody, just after Easter - win for me.
German Tony
How To Look Good Naked: Do Some Exercise You Fat Fuck
Last of the summer senile
ArsedEnders
Wank's World (I see a little silhouetto of a man....)
Films:
* The Lord of the Ringpiece
* Casawanker
* Bumgrapes of Wrath
* The Wedding Minger
* Sex Toy Story
TV:
* Slash in the Attic
* Superfanny
* Wife Drop
* Katy Brand's Big Ass Flow
* Boys and Boys Alone
* The Weakest Link (a game in which contestants compete to see who can squeeze out the longest unbroken length of poo)
Where's Maddy
Meal Or No Meal? Ethiopia Edition
America's Next AIDS Rapist
Fuck buddies (It's like friends, but with more sex)
Scrubbers (It's like scrubs, but with more sex)
My name is eight inch earl (It's like my name is earl, but with more sex)
Lust (it's like Lost, but with more sex)
Sex school (It's like play school, but with more sex)
SEX and the city!!!!!!!!!!
Schindlers Lust - it's about this guy schindler who has a fetish for skinny jews
MOCOTD (Most offensive comment of the day?)
Film
Star Whores:-
Episode I: The Fanny Menace
Episode II: Attack of the Cunts
Episode III: Revenge of the Syphillis
Episode IV: A New Whore
Episode V: The Empire Lies on it's Back
Episode VI: Return of the Jism
TV
Star Whores - The Cunt Wars
GT
Gaywatch
Gaylord of the rims
The lying bitch from the whorehouse
Raiders of the Lost Arse
The Italian Blow Job
Minging in the Rain
Shitty Shitty Gang Bang
Snow White & the 7 Anal Intruders
Saving Ryan's Privates
GT
I thought that was Shaving Ryan's Privates...?
Besides - grumble movie remakes is a whole new genre, innit?
TV:
- Wanking The Dead (which is genuinely what I thought the title was, for a split second, when I first saw it in a telly guide)
- Spacker (starring Robbie Coltrane as a neurologically challenged plod profiler)
- The Weakest Chink (featuring the late Benny Hill as a Chinese stereotype in drag)
Fillum:
- Back Passage To India (which is the dream porno I'm going to make when/if I win the lottery jackpot)
- Star Wars Episode IV: A New Grope
Hmmm, you're right, Charlotte, vis-a-vis grumble flicks, so I imagine that disqualifies 'A Back Passage to India'... Still, I can dream.
So how about:
Fillum:
- Spack To The Future
Telly:
- Gaywatch
- Randall Fucks Hopkirk (Deceased)
- Doctor Poo (about a bowelulous timelord travelling the cosmos in his TURDIS)
- Demons
Telly:
- Battlestar Gaspacktica
The GAY Team!!!!!!!!!
(best one yet)
Damnation, that's a good 'un... Meanwhile:
Fillum
- No Cunt For Old Men
- The Cocksucker Proxy
- Richard The Turd
- Citizen Cunt
Telly
- Holby Shitty
- Poosnight (with Jeremy Arsecracksman)
* A chocolate starfish called Wanda
* Mong-ster's Ball
* In sickness and in MILF
* Captain Fellatio Hornblower (starring Gregory Pecker)
* Hyster Act (A moving documentary about one nun and her manky infected womb)
...although if you want the most offensive real film title ever, I refer to you "Gayniggers from Outer Space". Yes, really: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0274518/
James Bond in:
- Goldfingered
- The Man With The Golden Bum
- The Spy Who Spluffed On Me
- Mooraper (about a French perve with a thing for cows)
- For Your Arse Only
- Jap'sEye
Pretty well any of them really...
Flid of Dreams?
http://www.joescaramanga.co.uk/fun%20stuff/graphics/movie%20posters/flidofdreams.gif
Ha ha! Meanwhile...
- The Sure Wank Redemption
- The Green Piles
- Chocolate Starfish Trek VI: The Undiscovered Cunt
Wanking the Dead <3
That's ace
Black Peter!!!!!!!!! lol
Big Screen:
White Men Can't Hump
The Wankers of Eastwick
Grope Me in St. Louis
Somewhat less big screen:
The Lust Boat
Girlyman's Island
American Pervert
One gay in september - it's a comedy about a fanatical gay palestinian who takes a load of Israeli jews hostage at the 1972 Munich Olympics. Highlights include the Israeli weight lifter being shown live on TV standing at the window with a Palestine flag stuck in his arse and a gay rainbow flag between his teeth. Comedy gold.
Lauwrence of A-Labia
Josie and the PussyFarts
*shakes head in shame*
The Nine O'Cock Nudes
Not the Nine O'Clock Nudes
2009: One Wedding & a Funeral, starring Jade Goody?
Yay to Isolator but she's got time to squeeze in a few divorces just for the fun of it I reckon.
Dr Poo is a Viz creation I believe.
Obsence Panto
A lad in the poo hole - behind you!!
I'll get me coat.
GT
Clitty Clitty Gang Bang
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