Monday, February 22, 2010

On the Great Sausage Sandwich Question

On the Great Sausage Sandwich Question

Now, listen up. This is important.

Regular listeners to Danny Baker's Saturday Morning show on BBC Five Live will be aware that the great man asks this important question of his sporting guests, allowing listeners to judge their heroes on their tastes regarding this king of snack foods.

"When you have a sausage sandwich, which sauce do you put on it?"


There are, of course, only three valid ansers: red sauce, brown sauce, or no sauce at all.

However, it has become increasingly clear that some people have been offering alternative answers. To whit: mustard, *shudder* apple sauce and *shudders again* mayonnaise.

This is clearly a BLASPHEMY and must be stamped out forthwith.

So. In order to gauge the depth of this problem - and to help us to sort out the catering in the internment camps - we ask you the same question.



Answer wisely, for the results will be forwarded to the relevant authorities at the close of polling.

BLASPHEMERS will be dealt with accordingly, and I shall hear your pleas for mercy in the comments section.

43 comments:

Sigg3.net said...

As sausage sandwiches are not really common here, in fact I can't remember ever having tried one, I would have to regard it as any other type of sandwich, though I can see the possibility of GREAT FAIL in so doing.

As such, I would use any blasphemous sauce incl. the red and brown sauce, though I have no idea what those are. BBQ sauce?

In any case, try a Norwegian sheep's head sandwich. It's not a tradition, but it still remains undefeated on the arena of sandwich stuffs versus sauces.
I could go on about this, but I'm @work and the phone's ringing.

TRT said...

Scary duck in hoisin wrap.

thirdman said...

Brown sauce for a breakfast sausage sandwich but mint sauce at all other times.

thirdman said...

Oh - and does the almighty OK sauce count as red sauce or is it blasphemy?

Scaryduck said...

Mint sauce?

MINT SAUCE?

Squeakypony said...

Is a "sausage sandwich" a saucy euphemism?

Anonymous said...

Mustard of course. Olde English of course. Non of that yellow sick ina hedge muck from the U.s of A that pretended to be mustard.

Richard said...

I heard the mayo reference on Saturday and have to admit I was stunned. I'm troubled though, I actually have both but not mixed, a bit at each end although I've put red.

As regards Perry Groves, who was the sandwicheer on Saturday, I don't know if you heard one of the Colin Murray programmes last week when PG came out against women referees but also as a Spandau Ballet fan? That was me who texted in and pointed out the huge FAIL in that admission. I was glad they saved it until the end, it got a laugh.

Shining Love Pig said...

What about both? With mustard?

Debster said...

Yes blow your head off rocket fuel mustard. For tough guys only.

Erin said...

Squeakypony: yes.

Pseudonymph said...

Not that I eat the stuff, of course, but if persuaded to make a sandwich for my husband, mango chutney always goes with everything, and disguises the real 'age' of the aforementioned sausage. The consistancy of the chutney also helps disguise the teeth marks where I have had to wrestle it off the dogs.

arobba said...

Depends on the kind of sausage to be honest: red sauce for the more generic (read *cheaper*)kind but brown sauce for the better ones.

Sahara Desert said...

Tomato ketchup all the way. It's the law, I'm a southerner.

And not just any old ketchup either. It has to be Daddies. All other sauces are too acid and make me sick inna hedge.

I can see the appeal of mayo or mustard however, having enjoyed mayo on chip shop chips and sausage before. On the subject of mustard, it's either got to be dark french mustard, that shitty yellow american cack (French's) or wholegrain blow yer socks off stuff.

arobba said...

Wasn't there a bit of a craze for sausage & marmalade sandwihes in the 70s following a 'Jim'll Fix It' programme?

Scaryduck said...

arobba: There was? That man's got a lot to answer for

Chris said...

the best topping for a sausage sandwich is Bacon

Roger said...

The real Sausage Butty is well cooked sausages and well cooked fried onions in a bap which has been dipped in the fat that was used to fry the afore mentioned. When constructing the butty; place sausages on the bread covered with lashings of; make your eyes water and your ears burn Colemans English Mustard then the fried onions covered with the second fat soaked bread.

You will know if it is a success when you bite into it. The onions should burn your lips the mustard should burn your tongue and the fat should run down your chin and onto your shirt.

When the House Manager comes in from her day job she will say, “What have you done to the kitchen? What that smell? Why is your shirt such a mess?” All these little mysteries keep a marriage alive!

Anonymous said...

very interesting

Anonymous said...

very interesting

The Explorer said...

It depends when and how the sausage is eaten.

In a hot dog bun in summer:
BBQ sauce

In a hot dog bun any other time:
Tomato Ketchup

In any other form:
HP Sauce

hampshireflyer said...

Ooh, brown sauce!

InvisibleWoman said...

Red sauce, but obviously if there's a fried egg in there, it would be brown sauce

Debster said...

Roger - perfect but without onions for me.

snee said...

I don't want to rig the results by voting again...y'all know brown sauce will win (better dead than red heh).

And I echo the Duck's "Mint sauce???"

Actually, I just KNOW brown sauce wins - it always does...the only question is:

HP (win!) or Daddies?

WrathofDawn said...

Sausage? In a sandwich? Are you MAD???

TRT said...

We're talking bangers, Dawn, not those meat patty burger things.

Rik said...

HP fruity is a must, but also how about topping it with bacon, greasy egg and cheese. Yum!

arobba said...

Scaryduck: indeed: some fat child wanted to eat a sausage & marmalade sandwich on a rollercoaster so 'Jim fixed' him.

I blame Jim for the current prevalence of tracksuits on council estates

entropy said...

Sauce?

Horseradish. (No, not horseradish sauce.)

And fresh onion.

Although I could go with what Rik said.

MerseyMal said...

HP or Jack Daniels BBQ Sauce, though branston pickle (smaller chunk variety) works surprisingly well.

Firehorse said...

A smear of English mustard, a thin layer of tomato sauce, the sausage, the onion then a squirt of brown sauce.

bicycleslut said...

This presupposes that you're into sausage sandwiches in the first place.

Would I be consigned to the fiery pit for suggesting that were I to be consuming anything resembling a sausage sandwich, it would have to be made with Cauldron Cumberland veggie sausages, possibly served with a smear of wholegrain mustard and a little rocket...?

Anonymous said...

Roger: You forgot one basic thing. Always make sure the fat is hot enough to splatter everything around it in a 10m radius. Including the cooker top, work surface to the side, kettle and tea-pot, kitchen roll, sink and clean washing up.

You always have and she'd miss it if you didn't. ;-)

Tz

Donna said...

The sausage has got to be sqare sliced or a Lorne sausage to give it it's proper name, the roll has got to be well-fired and of you come from the West coast of Scotland, the sauce is Tomato or if you're East coast the sause is brown

Or watery shite cos that's what it looks like.

Dara said...

Just sausage: HP or Daddies brown sauce.
Sausage & egg: Daddies ketchup, which is far superior to Heinz.
Sausage & Onion: Mustard under the onion, then sausage then ketchup. The mustard and ketchup must not come into contact, however. This is very important.

Richard said...

Bicycleslut - salad? In a sausage sandwich? Surely one can forgive the non-meat option but you're pushing the healthy option boundaries a little too far now.

Kim said...

Depends on the sausage (as the actress said to the bishop). If Brit bangers, then yes, brown sauce is most excellent. If Kraut sausage (which they do make really well, much better than they make war), then some light German mustard.
If some seriously spicy Mexican chorizo, then no sauce is necessary, as a simple bite drowns one's mouth with grease and jalapeno pepper juice.

I think I'll go and have one of the latter now...

Lord Andrew of Goulding said...

Tomato, occasionally with American mustard.

Dave said...

Must be cheap, generic sausage such as Richmond with Branston tomato ketchup - which is better than any other ketchup out there. Fried onions are a bonus but not strictly necessary.

Dean said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
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indie1337 said...

Hey arobba
Firstly, that 'Fat Kid' was my uncle.
Secondly it wasn't on a roller coaster, it was at the Savoy Hotel.
Cheers :D