A Duck (Scary) writes on Twitter: Dour, damp drive to work this morning made EXCELLENT by sight of man in dark glasses walking into a lamp post. "SPANG!"I was shocked – SHOCKED – that my description of this event in a mere 140 characters should provoke accusations that I was mocking the partially sighted. I refute this entirely, declare that some of my best friends are fashion victims, and submit this 100 per cent truthful description of event.
That incident in full:
Another, dour, damp drive into work, nose-to-tail on the Bath Road in Reading, as The Boy Peach lambasts a local petty official on their failure to tell the truth.
Ahead, a gang of lads burst out of the council flats in a manner that defies the relatively early hour, their Scruffy Chic school uniforms topped with the Fashion Accessory Du Jour – dark, wrap-around sun glasses.
They are either the coolest thing on Earth, or a bunch of teen numpties – all depending on your point of view – as they weave between the crawling traffic to reach the other side of the road in a manner that can only be described as "swaggering".
And their leader – über-cool, über-swaggering, über-not-paying-attention-in-his-coolness went like this:
"SPANG!"
Straight into a lamp post.
I laughed. His mates laughed. We all laughed.
I drove on.
The rest of the day was crap.
12 comments:
From my blog, 18/02:
"Oh yeah – the good bit? while I was in Tesco, a couple of their aisles are badly laid out and have columns in the centre – some kid was running down the aisle away from his mum, she shouted at him, so he looked round at her while still running – BLAM! straight into this column…I almost wet myself laughing, which, for some reason, she wasn’t very impressed at."
OK, I used 'blam' instead of 'spang'
Now if the twitter post had said "boy in dark glasses", instead of "man in dark glasses"... well, that's a whole different story.
You take the Bath Road into work? No wonder you're always so grumpy. What's wrong with the Tilehurst/Richfield Avenue Route?
Rik: You ARE having a giraffe, aren't you?
I'm coming up from Burghfield, and that's just about the only sensible way
Please do not assume that all of your readers take delight in the misfortune of others. Unless you know any stories about Thatcher being stabbed, that is.
I think the partially sighted take more care, generally, when walking down the street. Unlike teen numpties. So it's OK to laugh. =)
The partially sighted do, however their (so-called) sighted carers don't.
Picture the scene, a very busy main road through a shopping area with heavy mid-day traffic. The carer steps off the kerb and heads full-steam across the road.
He almost reaches the other side when he looks back over his shoulder at the blind-as-a-bat woman, his dearly beloved wife of more then 30 years, the mother of his 2 children, and yells, "You coming then, or what?".
Tzonar.
True story: I was walking home one evening. Coming up the hill in front of me was a chap with a white stick. Walking down the hill in front of me was a young lady with a mobile phone. Roughly as they drew level the young lady, not paying attention went, to use the word of the day 'SPANG' into the bright red and pretty unmissable post box at the edge of the pavement closely followed by an utterance on the lines of "Ouch! Fuck!".
Blind bloke utters the classic line "Bloody hell, even I knew that was there!". Cue myself and several other passersby almost pissing ourselves.
It's only funny if it's funny. ;)
In my youth, I twice walked into lamp posts while perving at attractive young ladies.
LOLs @ the Kaptain
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