On SPANG

On SPANG

A Duck (Scary) writes on Twitter: Dour, damp drive to work this morning made EXCELLENT by sight of man in dark glasses walking into a lamp post. "SPANG!"

I was shocked – SHOCKED – that my description of this event in a mere 140 characters should provoke accusations that I was mocking the partially sighted. I refute this entirely, declare that some of my best friends are fashion victims, and submit this 100 per cent truthful description of event.

That incident in full:

Another, dour, damp drive into work, nose-to-tail on the Bath Road in Reading, as The Boy Peach lambasts a local petty official on their failure to tell the truth.

Ahead, a gang of lads burst out of the council flats in a manner that defies the relatively early hour, their Scruffy Chic school uniforms topped with the Fashion Accessory Du Jour – dark, wrap-around sun glasses.

They are either the coolest thing on Earth, or a bunch of teen numpties – all depending on your point of view – as they weave between the crawling traffic to reach the other side of the road in a manner that can only be described as "swaggering".

And their leader – über-cool, über-swaggering, über-not-paying-attention-in-his-coolness went like this:

"SPANG!"

Straight into a lamp post.

I laughed. His mates laughed. We all laughed.

I drove on.

The rest of the day was crap.