Here at Scaryduck Labs, we're always trying to stay on the cutting edge of technology in the doomed hope of being millionaires this time next year, Rodders.And this year, it's the advance of the smart phone, with the ability to download any number of useful applications to help users improve their everyday lives.
Granted, the iPhone Apps market is dominated by far too many farts and cowbells which threaten to down unfortunate users in a tide of mediocrity; but this has spurred us on to create useful Apps that will benefit both the phone owner and the world in general. And make us extremely rich, obviously.
- Unwell? Drunk too much? Kingsize doner kebab fighting its way out? There's an App for that - The Scaryduck Labs Hedge Finder. Containing details of every hedgerow on the planet - download this application and be sick in a hedge with confidenceThis time next year, Rodders...
- Worried about an impending attack by Indonesian Al-Qaeda-linked terror group the Moro Islamic Liberation Front? There's an App for that - The Scaryduck Labs MILF Alert. May not work as anticipated
- Need to insult somebody, yet maintain the moral high ground? There's an App for that - The Scaryduck Labs Shakespearean Insult Generator. Comes loaded with up to three examples of The Bard's shining wit: "Thou art a coont", "Thou art a fuckynge coont" and "Fuckynge fuckynge fucke offe ye fuckynge coont."
- Memory loss? There's an App for that. Never forget your shoe size with The Scaryduck Labs Shoe Size Reminder. Available in size nine only
- Need to make a phone call? There's an App for that - Add The Scaryduck Labs Public Phone Box Locator to your iPhone and never be out of contact!
15 comments:
WCoaB locator? Could do with that at the moment, what with the ceiling guys going missing in action. Have told the supervisor that if they're not here by 3pm, I'm going to the police to file a missing persons report.
He can sort that one out.
Thank you for the sick in a hedge updated. I was beginning to fret.
I'd like the The Scaryduck Labs MILF Alert - for my own safety, of course.
Every day I drift curiously over to your blog to see what madcap idea you've dreamed up. I just can't help myself; it's a "compulsive disorder". Have you got an app to cure me of this obscession?
I can pay you 17/11½d (that's all I've got).
Keith: Tomorrow's blog may help. Or may not. Mileage may vary.
God must have had a Shakespearean Insult Generator. It says in my unabridged version of "The Bible, and other Jokes":
'And God spaketh unto Moses with his his mouth, "Thou art a fuckynge coont".
See? It's been done before!
But will you be making Peyp's Diary available as an iBook?
Methinks it'll be the Stavros edition of Peeps diary...
Some sort of poofreading app might be useful - I have spotted at least two deliberate misteaks ...
An app that keeps track of your beer money, aka a hedge fund tracker.
Those Apps.....WANTS THEM NOW
Plz Ta Much.
The App that lets you laugh at an asshole's funeral by making loud coughing noises. Make it. Now.
Funeral on Saturday.
Find-a-friend app? As in, I have my excellent iPhone, now I need some friends to call.
Oh.
Might I suggest The Scaryduck Labs MILF Alert Alert? For my own safety, of course. Or, at the very least, a head start.
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