Friday, February 18, 2011

And the next person up against the wall...

And the next person up against the wall... whoever it was who woke up in the middle of the night - shaking and sweating with excitement - with the words: "I know! Why don't we combine supermarkets and petrol stations!"

And then, he drove to his office in Tesco World Headquarters, where his entire life is dominated by the words "point of sale", "return on investment" and - worst of all - "synergy" to put his dreadful scheme into effect.

For that single thought brings us to the next, teaming, group of people up against the wall...

...people who fill their cars up with pretrol, who then go and do their weekly shop, leaving their car at the pump.

For these people are - if you will allow me to express myself - the biggest bunch of selfish shit-for-brains that ever drew breath.

Actually, they're worse than that. You watch them, heart sinking, turning left into the depths of the supermarket instead of heading straight for the till. And you know that you, and the twenty cars behind you are in for a wait, in which it is likely the end of the world will come first.

Theen, a quarter of an hour later, they emerge with three bags of shopping, juggling car keys, cigarettes and lottery scratch cards, as they amble towards their vehicle. They catch sight of you, pulling a "Fuck you, I wish you were dead" face and shrug. Shrug, and spend anothe five minutes not actually driving off.

It's that kind of person who makes me so angry that I nearly say something.

These people, I am reliably led to believe, are allowed to have children, vote and hold positions of responsibility in society. THEY MUST BE STOPPED.

But really: Tied to a stake at low tide and left for the crabs. Then fire the crabs into the heart of a nuclear reactor, and seal it in concrete for 10,000 years.

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