Yeah, I'm a single man. Happy-go-lucky. Carefree. Free to do what I want to do. Have a good time. Have a party.
So I did just that.
I joined the library.
All the books I can eat. Free reservations. Slightly out of date CDs and DVDs.
And librarians. Lots and lots of hot, smoking librarians of that certain age.
So many hot, smoking librarians of that certain age that I am resolved: The next woman I am going to run off with and marry will be an actual card-carrying, dewey decimal-loving, date-stamp-wielding sensibly-dressed librarian.
Or an archivist.
Or a researcher.
Or, to be honest, any woman at all.
I'm open-mined like that, and all I need now is an open-minded librarian, researcher or archivist willing to put up with a git.
Now, if somebody would be kind enough to set up a librarian dating website, we can get this party started.
Hot librarians, everybody!
If any hot librarians are reading this, here's a librarian joke that I certainly DID NOT* steal from Jimmy Carr.
A bloke walks into a library, saunters up to the desk and says "Cod and chips, please" in a loud voice.*Lie
The hot librarian gives him the skunk-eye and replies: "You do realise this is a library, sir?"
"Oh, sorry," says the inebriate and whispers, "Cod and Chips, please"