The Curse of the Carry Ons

Dear Comedians

Stop trying to bring back "Carry On" movies.

I know it's just another rumour, but take a leaf out of the book of the Holy Church of Don't Be A Dick, and don't be a dick.

They were funny in the sixties and seventies, and remain a high point of bawdy comic farce in the history of British cinema.

Bernard Bresslaw in drag. Sid James going "Kyuk kyuk kyuk". Barbara Windsor in her scanties. Hattie Jacques ...err... in her scanties. Something something Kenneth Williams "infamy" something.

But they remain of their time, and that's exactly where they should stay. Any attempt to revive the corpse is only going to end one way: Woe. I mean, look:

Carry on Cleo: YES

Carry on Screaming: YES

Carry on Up The Khyber: Thought I'd soil my trousers with laughter

Carry on Columbus: SHIT, NO

Stop it. Now.

Although, I confess, Carry on Cameron has a certain ring to it.

Be lucky!

Your pal, etc

Albert O'Balsam