Wednesday, May 02, 2012

A short list of things that I am not allowed to do

With a new relationship comes great responsibility,. While Jane puts up with a great deal of idiocy from me, there are one or two aspects of my behaviour where she has put her foot down. In lieu of starting some sort of argument, we have decided to leave it to you - dear reader - to decide who is right and who is the Queen of Wrongness.

My new pal Hooty McHooterson1. Shaking the tree behind our house where Hooty McHooterson the owl lives to see if an owl will come out. I maintain that owls enjoy the odd game of OWL QUAKE and will look up on me as their new pal, because owls are aces.

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2. Going to Ikea, creating a large collection of Ikea pencils from Ikea, openly flaunting my Ikea pencil collection by giving her an Ikea pencil whenever Jane asks if I've got something to write with. Also, going to Ikea, creating a large collection of Ikea pencils from Ikea, and leaving a pencil from Argos just to do their heads in.

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I am not mad.

10 comments:

WeezaFish said...

Oh come on Jane, relent on the pencil thing. I'm stumped to think of anything else worthwhile you could do in Ikea, except look at flat pack Swedish furniture. And who wants to do that?

NellieVaughn said...

This was such a fun post. Everyone should have one of these. My vote counts. Paris Hilton and P. Diddy were right.

Pseudonymph said...

Do we not get to vote on whether you're mad or not?

Richard said...

No to the pencils. A man has to have something to do in Ikea and that's exactly what I do.

Erin said...

Take a picture of yourself wearing your tiara, will you?

#Debi said...

New tag line: Scaryduck. Not scary. Queen of Wrongness.

Rose said...

Jane, step up to the plate, you can think of more things than that to forbid, surely! Remember your sacred duty to womanhood!

flip said...

You could throw the pencils at the owls. Owls like pencils, right?

WrathofDawn said...

How does she feel about:

You going up to a clerk and saying, "Koda tre i housewares.".

You darting around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme.

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