Another day, another attempt to cure my dodgy ankle.
It turns out that ll the good work with gentle exercise and physiotherapy is being undone by the thing flopping to one side during long, painful nights in bed.
"Why not," says an anonymous benefactor, "Try a child's swimming armband? Works, you know."
So, a visit to a local tat shop and £1.50 later, I have a charming set of Disney swimming armbands, where the "This will not save you from drowning to death" warnings cover the entire packaging, 27 sheets of inserted paper and two-thirds of the armband themselves, with just enough room for a nice picture of Dumbo.
I shall draw a veil over the actual operation of the support itself, except to say, "Blow up my foot" is the least sexy thing you will ever see in bed.
Doorbell.
It is the unearthly hour of eleven in the morning, and I fall out of bed to find the postman attempting to deliver a package.
He looks at me in a funny way.
I sign his electronic wossname.
He looks at me in a funny way.
"Is that an elephant down your pyjamas or are you pleased to see me?"
"No. No, it's an elephant."
"That's lucky then."
8 comments:
Long painful nights in bed?
Ur doing it rong.
"This will not save you from drowning to death."
Better not wet the bed then.
It looks sexy. I think if I wear those, I may snag myself a date.
For the foreseeable future then, will you now get a blow (up) job every night...?
"It turns out that ll the good work with gentle exercise and physiotherapy is being undone by the thing flopping to one side during long, painful nights in bed."
This is my problem too. Though I do tend to fall rather short of a foot.
ratty.
Oooh I'm (not so!) anonymously gleeful that you took my wise advice! I'm not sure that I mentioned anything about elephants though....if it doesn't start working soon then I'd prescribe a Disney Princess instead.
Jolly good.
Keep it up (mwahaha)
(Pffft - he fell for the old "try a child's swimming armband" trick - lol)
I believe a sure fire cure is to buy a "physiotherapist approved"* inflatable sheep and insert your dodgy swollen appendage into the orifice toward the rear of the said medicinal sheep.
*As approved by Dave, Dave the pervy physiotherapist.
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