There I was driving up the M3 towards home the other evening, the rain coming down in torrents, when I noticed something quite extraordinary: The car's windscreen wipers were keeping a perfect beat with the song currently playing on the stereo, Coolio's 1997 hit C U When U Get There.
So amazed was I at this turn of events that I nearly put my car into a bridge support, leaving this planet in a firey inferno.
But why, I asked myself, still hypnotised by the beat, can't all car windscreen wipers play to the beat of the stereo? It would, for one, make those endless rainy drives far more fun, as the car itself beats out the time like an automotive conductor.
THIS MUST HAPPEN.
Yes, I know there are problems. For eg:
What happens if something plays in 3/4 time? (I envisage something clever with the rear wiper)
What happens if you like thrash metal? (You put your car into a bridge support, leaving this planet in a firey inferno)
What happens if I listen to Careless Whisper on a loop and it's chucking down with rain? (You put your car into a bridge support, leaving this planet in a firey inferno, this being the LORD'S way of weeding out the George Michael fans)
I shall ring up all the major car manufacturers immediately. Anybody got the number for those lovely Morris chaps?
5 comments:
Annoyingly, TMV's windscreen wipers go to the tune of Fleetwood Mac's Tusk.
I don't know about the M3. I refuse to drive it.
And if you tie in the demister fan speed as well...
I now have the saxophone bit from "Careless Whisper" running through my head, you bastard.
You are a big knob.
Sorry, I meant you need a big knob. On your dashboard, to adjust wiper speed. I also think cars should be fitted with a device that detects G.Michael and causes your car to conk out, leaving you to spend the night down a hole in the fog, WITHOUT an owl!
Quite a spunker ... but unfortunately I don't believe this would work for our younger drivers, as it would distract them from their texting while they drive.
p.s. Hey you kids, stop texting on my lawn ...
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