Thursday, November 26, 2009

On gross-out

On gross-out

I hadn't felt too good.

In fact, I felt bloody awful.

Hell of a cold, nose feeling like it had a block of concrete stuck up it.

I was the very definition of “mouth-breather”, for that was just about all I could manage.

Grasping a handful of Kleenex, I decided to give it one final blow before I slammed my head in the oven door.

HONK! Honk HONK HO-O-O-O-O-O-O-NK

And out it came.

A pasta tube.

A foul-smelling pasta tube, for I hadn't eaten pasta tubes in several weeks.

What, I ask, have I done in my life for that to happen?

17 comments:

Pseudonymph said...

You know what to do. Put it in a container in the fridge at work marked 'Scaryduck lunch. Do not eat'.
I can get my hands on a jar of phlegm if you want to add a special sauce.

Aunty Brenda said...

Market it. I Can't Believe It's Snot Pasta.
You can have that name for free.

WrathofDawn said...

It wasn't a pasta tube. It was part of your BRAINZ.

Also: What's past tunes? One of those British specialty item foods?

Scaryduck said...

Dawn WINS today's not-proof-reading cock-up award

Pseudonymph said...

Error? I thought you'd used a T9 predictive word entry method.

Audrey said...

Probably inserted by the FMD in an attempt to cut out the snoring.

Rik said...

Was it 'Al Dente?' Enquiring minds would like to know.

Also, can you imagine if you'd been seen picking that out of your nose whilst waiting at one of Reading's multitude of traffic lights?

Squeakypony said...

Do you have meatballs too?

Debster said...

This thread useless without pictures.

Erin said...

Yum. Just in time for breakfast.

TRT said...

What, I ask, have I done in my life for that to happen?

Answer: read blog.

Richard said...

I was already struggling to keep my breakfast down this morning so thanks.

Astropoppet said...

lmao @ Aunty Brenda n Rik, I just had to explain to the office what I was laughing at

WrathofDawn said...

I shall never eat past tunes again in my life.

Also: This award... is there a cash prize?

I thought not.

Lord Andrew of Goulding said...

@ Aunty Brenda

I Can't Believe It's Snot Pasta - I'd buy it!

Delephine's delight said...

a pasta-a-day will keep the colds and sniffly noses away!

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