One of the great staples of television journalism is that of pushing a microphone into the face of an angry person – whose day has not improved since a local press photographer had them pointing at dog turds – and asking "How angry are you?"The answer - invariably "very" – leaves the viewing public with no idea how angry they are. They might have an anger base line which is really quite angry, and the events on which they are quizzed might have made them only slightly more angry. Or, in rare cases, actually less angry than when they started but still not entirely happy.
So, the finest minds of our generation have come up with the handy Liston-Smith Angry Scale to measure angriness.
Now, when asked the question "How angry are you?" the interviewee can now reply in measured, yet dark tones "Eleven. I am eleven angry" and everybody will know you are celebrity bunny-boiler Katie Price.
The Liston-Smith Angry Scale to measure angrinessThose with an interest in such things will note that the Liston-Smith scale is modelled on the already existing Beaufort Scale for measuring wind speeds, with "Angry" appearing at Force Eight, where gale force winds would otherwise appear.
0. Not angry at all
1. Disappointed
2. Unhappy
3. Miffed
4. Dismayed
5. Irritated
6. Annoyed
7. Cross
8. Angry
9. Really angry
10. Livid
11. Furious
12. Volcanic
And, added by popular demand by people who know
13. The Silent Treatment
When approached with this news, the Met Office were said to be "Force Three Angry – Miffed".
18 comments:
Disappointed (#1) that irate doesn't rate a mention. It's very popular here, especially when used in reference to 'Irate ratepayers rate council service as poor.'.
How the backs must have been slapped heartily in the journalists' tea room when they penned that one.
Not angry at all (0) that Force Five Angriness = miffed (not irritated) and irritated is same as irate no?
Not quite as comprehensive as the Scaryduckworth-Lewis Rating of Excellence.
I was thinking the missing details in the Liston-Smith Angry Scale could start with
1. Disappointed - "we sold the last spacehopper to Katie Price this morning and there won't be any more in till after Christmas"
all the way up to
12. Volcanic - "PONY, I want the Internet printed out and on my desk by the morning - or it's your job"
I may have them back to front now that I think about it.
I rate irate as a rate 10 or Livid.
Also, requiring descriptive commentary e.g. 11. The FMD on finding knob cheese on the curtains. Again.
And this scale is lacking of a force 13, which is achievable only by females and is characterised by complete and utter silence. And maybe a look. THAT look.
*Looks at Audrey for letting the Menfolk in on The Secret Force 13 Look
There.
13 is added
The best part about 'The Look' is that it can have an array of meaning. Rarely is the correct feeling of the moment identified - or if it is identified, it's almost always too late.
Mr. #11 above is kinda cute with his game-face on.
just sayin'
I'm going to steal your idea and now just say numbers in the officer. That was I can be 10 or 11 and no one will know - mwahaha!
It's good to see that this scale does not only go up to 11 but goes all the way up to 13
Where's Vexed?? It's a good word and deserves a mention somewhere between 6 and 7.
Tzonar
I shall be having cards printed up and laminated.
Also: "Looks" at the Duck. The first rule of Anger Club is... need I say more?
I'm Liston Smith 5 angry that I didn't even know that "angriness" was a recognized word.
Hey you missed my personal favourite: apoplectic
I AM SO MAD I COULD SCREAM!
(Don't ya just love em capitals? They really get the point across, eh.
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