On old wives tales
In which I use SCIENCE and FACTS to debunk myths, tittle-tattle and Daily Mail columnists
No.1: "A watched kettle never boils"
What a load of garbage. A watched kettle ALWAYS boils.
In fact, I have lost count of the times (but in the region of three) that I have watched a kettle in rapt attention to see it boil merrily away in a puff of steam and a little kettle dance, before pouring out to make a lovely cup of tea.
On the other hand, SCIENCE and FACTS prove that an unwatched kettle may not reach the boil, if, for eg, there is a power cut, caused by old wives leaving their hair straighteners plugged in.
Actual EVIDENCE goes further to prove that an unwatched kettle will NEVER reach the boil if you turn you back on it for five seconds, only to find that some cur – quite possibly an old wife - has stolen it, left it in the road outside, and watched with tears of laughter streaming down her wizened old face as it is run over by a passing steamroller, leaving only a big, flat kettle shape in the road, never to boil again this side of our universe's inevitable heat death many billions or years down the line.
The shy, unassuming SCIENTIST is left with cast-iron proof of his hypothesis, but no cup of tea.
SCIENCE 1-0 Old Wives
Old Wives: Leave our precious kettles alone and get back to Naughty Over Forty, where you belong.