Wednesday, November 04, 2009

On old wives tales

On old wives tales

An old wife, recentlyIn which I use SCIENCE and FACTS to debunk myths, tittle-tattle and Daily Mail columnists

No.1: "A watched kettle never boils"

What a load of garbage. A watched kettle ALWAYS boils.

In fact, I have lost count of the times (but in the region of three) that I have watched a kettle in rapt attention to see it boil merrily away in a puff of steam and a little kettle dance, before pouring out to make a lovely cup of tea.

On the other hand, SCIENCE and FACTS prove that an unwatched kettle may not reach the boil, if, for eg, there is a power cut, caused by old wives leaving their hair straighteners plugged in.

Actual EVIDENCE goes further to prove that an unwatched kettle will NEVER reach the boil if you turn you back on it for five seconds, only to find that some cur – quite possibly an old wife - has stolen it, left it in the road outside, and watched with tears of laughter streaming down her wizened old face as it is run over by a passing steamroller, leaving only a big, flat kettle shape in the road, never to boil again this side of our universe's inevitable heat death many billions or years down the line.

The shy, unassuming SCIENTIST is left with cast-iron proof of his hypothesis, but no cup of tea.

SCIENCE 1-0 Old Wives

Old Wives: Leave our precious kettles alone and get back to Naughty Over Forty, where you belong.

19 comments:

Debster said...

Ooh first again.

Sounds like we are straying towards Grannies Cumming again with that last sentence though.

Scaryduck said...

Yoinks!

And I thought the mind bleach had cleared that out of my head

nickopotamus said...

Nature here you come?

Erin said...

Or Discovery.

Erin said...

And fourth and fifth for being up early.

Misty said...

Scary, the adage is 'A watched pot never boils'*

Plz to conduct experiment again.

*Or possibly, 'A watched boil never pops'.

Oh, and also, 6th!

Audrey said...

My watch doesn't boil pot.

Scaryduck said...

I watched a pot once. A baby came and done a poo in it.

Rik said...

I have a kettle that never boils. Well, I say kettle, it's one of those Tefal One cup thingies, and I say never boils, it gets to 95c.

TRT said...

The shy, unassuming SCIENTIST is left with cast-iron proof

or rolled steel at least.

Sewmouse said...

Plz to disagree, Mr. Duckus.

Pot or kettle - it did not boil.
The liquid in said pot or kettle may have boiled, but the pot? NOT BOILING.

Must get kettle considerably hotter than stovetop or oven can make kettle in order to boil kettle. At which point, it ceases to be a kettle, as it is a gooey, very hot, lump of very hot gooey metal. For visual simulation of effect, watch last 1/2 hour of last LOTR movie by Mr. Jackson.

See also "Gollum"

Scaryduck said...

Sewmouse: I shall put this kettle of yours inside another - stronger - kettle and watch it boil.

HA!

WrathofDawn said...

My Granny, what LONG arms you have.

All the better to boil a kettle with...

snee said...

I failed to watch my kettle the other morning and it didn't boil.

Now, if I'd been watching (or even paying attention to the little red light), I'd have noticed my lodger had unplugged it.

Lord Andrew Of Goulding said...

@ Misty

'A watched pot-belly never goes'

Anonymous said...

old wives don't exist. Neither do young wives either! I think you can tell where I come from.

AMERICA THE BROKE1 OH BY THE WAY I'M BROKE TOO AS ALWAYS. WHAT ELSE IS NEW? yERS i LIKE TO SHOUT OUT IN BIG BOLD LETTERS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, SIR AND MADAME.

bITE ME.

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