On writing a letter to Top Gear
Dear Top Gear
I couldn't help noticing that undertakers these days are getting to drive some really sporty-looking hearses. Like this:
Unfortunately, the poor saps in the funeral industry are limited to 5 mph and never get to have any fun in their pimped-up stiff-wagons with mega-bass sound systems and under-coffin lighting.
You should have a race. And when Hammond wipes out at a nose-bleed-erupting 27 mph, he'd oven-ready for the local crem.
Go on. DO IT. Today.
I am not mad.
Your pal, Albert O'Balsam