"Good evening, mein host, a flagon of your finest stout ale, if you please.""Yer what?"
"Guinness. One of Her Majesty's pints, if it pleases you."
"Oh, right."
"And, if you'd be so bold, could you direct me to the secret garden as advertised on the sign outside, for I wish to partake in the last dying rays of this autumnal sun."
"Are you trying to chat me up, gaylord?"
"What? Your secret garden - where is it located?"
"There's no way I'm showing anybody my secret garden, you great wooly wooftah."
"No.. No... The Secret Garden. The one on your sign outside. The one that says 'Secret Garden' on it."
"Oh, THAT."
"Well?"
"It's through there."
"But.. but.. it's an alley full of empty barrels and a dead pigeon."
"Yes. Secret Garden. Tell anybody and we break your legs."
"And a packet of helicopter flavour crisps, my good man."
"Heard it."
10 comments:
I haven't.
What is this amazing English thing, where they take a break from consuming what they consider to be food, and instead snack on Mr Sikorski's finest?
snack on Mr Sikorski's finest
Fnaaaaaaarrrrr! Snort. Wooooohoooooo!
The helicopter crisps are the side order to the alligator sandwich.
ROFL!!! So funny I wanked myself!!!
So that's why you're not at work today
I had a Guinness last night. But I didn't see any helicopter chips, nor alligator sandwich. They did have croc soup, though. Oops! Sorry, that should read *crap* soup.
I tried that in a bar once.
"And a packet of helicopter flavour crisps, please."
"Sorry, we don't have any."
"I'll have Smokey Bacon then."
FAIL.
Chairboy: Be a good lad and use the Kleenex
Sikorski's not a joking matter 'round these here parts.
@ chairboyrules
"I wanked myself!!"
An etymology question: Can one "wank" anyone else other than oneself?
My lady is known to say "he's probably just wanked himself off!" (or something similar). Is it really correct English?
Post a Comment